so much in my head. (may be triggering)

vonAppen · 02-11-2016, 10:13 AM

hi i have been free from self-harm me now for two years with a few relapses but it is not a day that I do not think about it, I have received diagnoses of PTSD with added psychosis so I see pictures every day of what happened to me when I was little and I also hear voices that comment and command me to hurt myself, but I try not to listen to them. I also have multi-functional personality which I do not know what it is. I have also been persecuted in the car with my partner and son of 1year and 8 months when my son was 6 month. We were persecuted for over 2h in the car on the night we were out and ran to my son would fall asleep because he had colic. When I Stände and asked what they wanted so they just said that they would in the same way as when I drove off again as they begin they follow us back so I called the police who took them in place and they confessed to the police that they were following us, this case was Disbanded by the judge because it was apparently allowed to follow us over 2h. These people still follow us and keep track of what we do. all this makes so I go with anxiety every day, which in turn makes me want to hurt myself. for my partner not to notice anything I do so it looks like an accident. voices in my head can plan what to do and how it should look and how deep it will be, this makes so I am afraid of what might happen because I do not want to hurt myself because I have my partner and my son to think and I say no to my partner because I do not want to worry her when she is already worried. and the images that I get in my head since my childhood when I was sexuelt utnytjad for over 1 year by my sister's friend they keep coming as soon as I get anxious, I am waiting to get treatment from my doctor but it may take a few months before I can start on it, I have also stopped taking medication for the headache I got of them this, I informed to my doctor.

Excuse if I mistyped but my mother language is Swedish

may take time for me to answer because I keep myself entertained

thanks in advance

Sooty · 04-11-2016, 05:19 PM

It's great that you are seeking help from your doctor. It's hard to keep strong for yourself and your family when you're struggling and it's hard when you go straight to self harm as your default coping mechanism. Do you have any friends or other family around you who can support you.

Sophie.x

vonAppen · 07-11-2016, 10:14 AM

sorry for the late reply but had ugly up with my son who has been ill.

Nah, I have no one I can turn to when my parents pretend as if nothing has happened when I've told them before that I have been sexually abused by my sister's friend and my best friend from before has turned his back to me. so I have no one I can turn to.

best regards
Alex