any advice will do

madaod64 · 02-05-2012, 11:32 AM

I am new to this and have never been in any forum as I dont understand how they work and what to do. I am a 51 year old man and my wife & i separated last september only on her part, I did not want to. We still stay together but sleep in separate rooms we have a son aged 14 still at home and a daughter of 21 in America. a month ago my wife has been close to my neighbour and although not a sexual relationship they are close to it. I am not dealing with this watching her leave my house to go into his sometimes not coming home till 6am at weekends. When she is away I take co codemol to ease my pain, I can easilly take 20 with a cup of tea. I never take less than 6 at a time and can take maybe 30 per 24 hours. i know they are doing me harm but when you feel as low as I do then nothing in the world matters. I listen to people wondering how low must you be to commit suicide, now I know. I have a daughter who graduates on May 12th in Alabama as a business accountant and a son who is breaking into the music industry but I fear one night when I am alone I will not see the future. I do not sleep before 3am and back up for work at 6. I drive thro the night or come in to work during a night shift and occupy my mind. there are underlying problems but I only think of myself and that is not like me as I have always put my family first. dont know if i want to stop taking the tablets but I feel sick with them and I cant eat. my mouth is always dry and I really dont know where to turn. My wife does not want to stop so who am I to ruin her happiness to make me happy.
Any advice will be appreciated

Leni · 02-05-2012, 12:26 PM

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible. Those drugs will be destroying your liver; seriously, they may already have done irrepairable damage. I understand when you're feeling that low it seems nothing matters, but slowly killing yourself isn't the answer. Explain everything to your GP, they can offer some emotional support - maybe refer you to a councillor to help you through this. Or they may suggest antidepressants, as it does seem you're deeply depressed. There is help out there and you can get through this; but first, please get yourself checked out, it really is vital.

madaod64 · 02-05-2012, 01:30 PM

Thanks Leni

Ballerina123 · 03-05-2012, 11:29 PM

I am so sorry that you are feel as you are.
Please see your doctor about how you feel. You have positive things to live for (your kids, who sound great). Keep those things at the front of your mind and get some help.

I would also suggest confining in a close friend. Hopefully they will be able to counselled you a little on your marriage.
Do you have any friend who have had problems in their marriage? If so speak to them. They may have learn some coping skills they can pass on, if not it is always good to rant and get it out.

Please get help and let us know your ok.

madaod64 · 04-05-2012, 09:30 AM

thanks Betty I was having a bad day yesterday but thought i was strong enough to deal with things but will power was not there and ended up on co codemol again last night to try and cope only took 14 and started to feel calm again although my stomach is in pain. I will try to confide in someone as you suggested and I do have great things to look forward to but they dont take pride and place which they should, I feel I am being self centred and thinking of myself before my children which I have never done. Weekends are always the worst as my wife will be over at her new friends house and thats when I fall apart. I will keep in touch with you & Lenni as things progress hopefully for the better, fingers crossed

Fire Fly · 05-05-2012, 09:37 PM

Madaod - I really think Leni is right, you need to see a doctor ASAP as you have overdosed on co codemol last night. it may not affect you now but it can within a few days which it is then too late to do anything about it and you will go into organ failure.

Is possible you can go see a doctor or A&E and get bloods taken to see the effect it has on your body. If you cant do either can you please ring NHS Direct to check the amount and see what they say?

Where abouts is your pain in your stomach?

If you cant do it for yourself - do it for your children so you can see them grow up and be there with them to help them out when they need you when they are much older.