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Old 23-07-2019, 07:53 AM   #41
Buttons.
Never knowing...a helping hand or hell to pay?
 
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Also do they realise how hard trying to cope?? Despite increased falls illness arm etc still been trying my bloody hardest to get by. I wake up in morning and I don’t want to live but I still force myself up despite wheelchair pain palava get up get the dog her food n water and outside to do her business. Then once everything done too exhausted to help myself stick something on tv or go back to bed and pretend the voices aren’t getting worse day to day amd still ill because immune system on its arse n my body just isn’t coping I



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 23-07-2019, 08:09 AM   #42
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And you can’t win. Because if it gets to life threatening stage it’s your fault for not asking for help but if it seems like life threatening and turns out not to be just means you’re v ill you get in trouble for that. So if you die it’s your fault if you live just about it’s your fault. You cannot win



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 23-07-2019, 11:09 AM   #43
one_step_closer
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I can definitely see how much you're fighting despite not feeling like you want to, and it's horrible if people are using the 'grown adult' excuse to avoid offering you the support you need. What's happening right now?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 24-07-2019, 07:58 AM   #44
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Had massive fever yesterday. Still struggling physically and mh. Also despite how ill I was last night mum wouldn’t come round cos it would stress my dad. It feels like (this is the selfish part of me) everyone comes first to my mum except me. I can’t prosecute my abuser because ‘it would destroy the family’ o can’t open up properly anyone as it would destroy grandma. Can’t ask mum for help as dad would get stressed. I just selfishly which for Once as her daughter I could come first. But that makes me evil so... ah well?



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 24-07-2019, 01:54 PM   #45
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I don't think that sounds selfish at all, it's kind of more selfish of your Mum if that makes sense? You're not evil and you are very important, I'm sorry that people make you feel like you're not important. Do you have any support at all at the moment?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 22-08-2019, 02:30 AM   #46
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I've cut my face twice now I just don't want anyone to see me in that way;m



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 22-08-2019, 10:14 AM   #47
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What do you mean by you don't want people to see you in that way? *hugs*





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 22-08-2019, 03:08 PM   #48
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I hope people treat you with the kindness you deserve. Does the self harm need medical attention? <3



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Old 22-08-2019, 06:19 PM   #49
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Sending loves.
x







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Old 22-08-2019, 06:58 PM   #50
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Hope you're ok? <3

(Sorry if that's a stupid question..)

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Old 23-08-2019, 12:28 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by one_step_closer View Post
What do you mean by you don't want people to see you in that way? *hugs*
Sexually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Auror. View Post
I hope people treat you with the kindness you deserve. Does the self harm need medical attention? <3
I patched it up pretty well myself and support worker helped with the tape to keep dressing in place. And I don't feel like I deserve any kindness every time I wake up I just think you useless piece of shit.

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Sending loves.
x
Thankyou

Quote:
Originally Posted by nonperson View Post
Hope you're ok? <3

(Sorry if that's a stupid question..)
Not a stupid question. I'm alive mainly due to the fact I know my dog needs me may seem a rubbish reason but she matters to me.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 23-08-2019, 02:32 AM   #52
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Molly's the best. I'm glad you have her. I know things are hard. I don't think you're useless, but me saying that doesn't make you believe it. I'm glad your support worker was able to help you with dressing them. <3



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 23-08-2019, 11:11 AM   #53
one_step_closer
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You're definitely not useless but I know it's so easy to be horrible to yourself. You do deserve kindness, seriously, whether you believe it or not. I'm sorry that you're feeling really awful. Is there anything we/others can do for you right now?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 23-08-2019, 11:15 AM   #54
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Not many words today but I’ve read and I care. I hope you’re okay *sending hugs*

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