Freezing up and not knowing what to say right away when falsely accused of something

Does anyone have the annoying reaction of freezing up and not knowing what to say when someone confronts you about something they assume that you did when you clearly didn't? I tend to have this problem and I hate it, I eventually know what things I should have said but usually it is too late by that point. Here are a few examples. Back in college, I was hung out with someone who I thought was a real friend. Then one day, out of the blue, she came up to me and accused me of backstabbing her.

She started acting weird and indifferent towards me when she was around a different group of friends she just met and when I asked her about that she said I was overreacting. Then she came and accused me of backstabbing, which I would never do. She told me to prove that I didn't do it but of course I was so stunned by the accusation that I basically remained silent until it was too late. I did however say that it wasn't true and she said that one of her friends she just met a few days earlier who were freshmen in college told her and that they have no reason to lie and backstab. Meanwhile she knew me for a year. It really hurt when she did that.

Once she left, I realized I should have told her that she knew me way longer than them and should know I would never do such a thing and should have told her that the people she hung out with had the tendency to backstab others and that they definitely were lying. Another friend who I mentioned in the post that cut me off after trying to be controlling called me clingy and I didn't know what to say at first. I froze up. Eventually I did try to explain that I wasn't clingy but she wasn't having it. Yet it was okay for her to be clingy to others. I am glad I am out of both of those friendships. Then a couple years ago, I was let go from a day-to-day substituting job as a paraprofessional for a school district.

I had no warning. I just noticed that the app that was used to notify me of someone being absent and needing a substitute wasn't working. I called up the HR manager in charge of the substitutes and she flat out told me in a harsh manner that I wasn't wanted back at that school district because just one teacher from one school, out of the eight schools I went to many times, felt offended because apparently I didn't hear her requesting my help. I was called extremely unprofessional and inappropriate and they didn't even let me share my side of the story.

Apparently she went as far as to say I used my phone in class which I didn't, I used it after the school day to get a ride which you are allowed to do after school ends and on breaks. I actually had evidence to prove her wrong but instead, I froze up and just said sorry which probably made me look very guilty over the phone. Looking back, there probably not much I could have done there since it was all through phone and the people in charge of the substitutes didn't actually meet with anyone face to face so they would obviously believe whoever complained over me and not even care to listen to my side.

They most likely just wanted to get rid of me since right before it happened, I found out there were way more substitutes than there were actual regular paras in the district. Way more than necessary so I actually believe they just wanted to get rid of me and were looking for an excuse to do so. There has been many other times, even at the current school district I work at, where I didn't immediately hear what someone asked me to do, both because of it being loud at times and due to my hearing impairment, and not once did I get in trouble. Not just at work, but in general every day social settings as well. If someone really wants my attention, they will get it.

After it happened, quite a few people who knew me in that school district that let me go asked if I could substitute with them again, not knowing what had happened. I had to unfortunately tell them I was no longer available, although I didn't tell them why though. I just said personal reasons. I also graduated from that same school district as well back in 2010 so there were a lot of teachers at the high school that remembered me, not sure if that had something to do with it or not but I sometimes wonder if I asked one of them to back me up, maybe I could have been allowed to work there again. But I moved on ever since. I've seen people do way worse things and even use their phones in class and never got fired or even yelled at.

That is why I truly believe they just wanted to get rid of me and I wish I didn't freeze up. Another time, way back in high school, I had a friend accuse me of trying to creep on her after she urged me to walk her to class a couple of times. Looking back, she probably just wanted to end the friendship but still, I froze up and didn't defend myself right away. I didn't even want to walk with her but I did out of politeness and she went ahead and accused me. How do you handle this? What kind of stuff have you been accused of out of the blue that wasn't even true? I hate freezing up because it makes me look guilty and I am not able to share my side of the story. I am always constantly worried that it could happen again. Although there has been other cases where someone said I did something that wasn't true and at first I froze up but then later on I actually did say something. I am getting a bit better at it now but still need a lot of improvement. Anyone else struggle with this? Just wondered.