I'm not really up for Christmas
I know I haven't been on here since forever and I feel really rude now coming on here and posting things but I don't have anywhere else to go or anyone to talk to.
I've had a really bad week, I missed work twice in three weeks, last time was this weekend when I had to go up to A&E just to find out that apparently there's nothing wrong with me again. I've had to go to work with a migraine just so that I don't lose my job.
I was meant to go to my mum's today and ended up arguing with her this morning, she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say, that's how it was coming across anyway and it was pretty much first thing in the morning and I wasn't in the mood to discuss it or for arguing so I told her I wouldn't come over, I didn't even mean to say it.
I get my stubbornness from my mum so I'm pretty sure how it would go if I was to call her to try and sort things out.
I keep having nightmares about my ex. All the abuse and everything he put me through happened nearly three years ago and I thought I would have been over it by now, apparently I'm not because I've had nightmares about it three nights in a row.
I just want everything to stop, I'm just lucky that I have somewhere else to go for Christmas but it's not the same as seeing my family.
I don't even know what I want from this, I guess I just wanted to get it all out.
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