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Old 20-11-2008, 03:08 AM   #1
silverfaerychild
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Graphic / Triggering - My slight recovery story

hello fellow members and newbies of ryl

i am an old old member from 06 i think but thats not the point i am here to give advice on how to almost overcome any problem that seems like its the end of the world....

so far this is what i gone through from childhood to now

when i was young from 2 and so on i saw my brothers undignosed bipolor outburst till he got medcated and so on but still he would have phases and go off his meds and use pot and so on ...he was somewhat nicer on pot he was more mellow but u could tell when he was slightly doing it cause when he stopped he would be irritable and so forth and i even saw him one choke my mom only cause of a bad reaction to a medcation

but i also lost a cat who i loved dearly and i also lost a family friend we called uncle greg i miss him so much i yet to grieve bout him and i even few years ago or a year ago i lost my great grandma her name was jessie i loved her so much she made me happy yet i have not grieved about her yet either

and i also lsot a dog cause he become to depressed and stopped eating he become sick and we had to put him to sleep sadly but then when i was 14 to 17 i was sexually abused by my first arizona boyfriend when i was 17 i was brave enough somewhat to break up with him over the phone cause i was afraid if i did it in person he would hurt me or do something hurtful to me

and i have been pushed by my older brother the one with bi polar and he had hit me and so on and tormented me alot when i was younger and older living my moms house

i even been teased so much sometimes bout my weight or the way i lookby the time i was 15 i was already expermenting with anorexia and builma to try and lose weight to fit in with people feeling as if i was skinny i'd be more respected then being fat ...but i learned that by not eating or purging your just messing your life up and the longer you do it daily you will also be killing yourself slowly cause our bodies need food .


when i was 12 i started shaving my legs and i got a knick and i from then would cut slightly when i shaved by the time i was 16 i started cutting on my wrist to escape more of my problems to deal with the abuse and name calling and being a little meat bag for people to pick on...and as i stopped and would relaspe each time started getting worse i started moving up my arm and by the time i was 19 i had already made 4 cuts on my left upper arm sadly enough i now try to not wear tank tops anymore


then i swear i was in a library bathroom ready to cut i just felt as if i was being watched by someone i loved probly my grandma jessie or my uncle greg i just felt as if i had cut then i would have regreted it more then i normally did when i relapsed so for there sake i actually threw the blade away and walked out of the bathroom and since then i dont really think about cutting much anymore


and people i am just saying there is hope out there and there is some unknown being out there i dont know who or what the being is but maybe its a god or goddess who created earth and so one and created a plain of worlds for people to descend to as in maybe there is a top upper level of the plain where all the good hearted and pure people go when they accept there fate and when there is people who have problems they go to the middle level to focus on why did what they did and to be who they re and not try to perfect themselfs anymore

and maybe there is a dark level where our souls re tormented everyday for everything we did as in killing and suicide and so on

but let me say this being 20 and all life isnt all that bad

i even had tried to kill myself 4 times in my life time and i realized something maybe there is a reseason to be alive maybe i was ment to be here alive to help others in any sitution that there is hope and u can recover from all the bad and so on ...

just look to the bright side there is worse problems then what we go through there re people who re kidnaped and murder and raped and tortured ...but u know yea alot of us worry will be that person who gets kidnapped or raped or murdered or tortured but think bout this that if it happens would u want your case solved or let the perp get away with it ...what if your raped yes its a painful thing to happen to have your virginity stolen away in such a harsh way but we can recover people ,just focus on the ones who love and care about you and want the best for you ....you can do this with the help of your loved ones yes you maybe 16 and have been raped and havent told anyone but dont wait till your 18 and tell someone cause then it be to late to do anything ...and never shower after you been raped cause it gets rid of the semin and saliva and so on

but believe me you can recover just find better things to cope then harming yourself ....

thats all i have to say



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Old 20-11-2008, 05:12 PM   #2
Louise
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thanks you for sharing this with us. it is inspirational, i am pleased for you that things are looking up for you. look after yourself. xxx





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 20-11-2008, 08:48 PM   #3
silverfaerychild
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of course i will

and thnk you for being inspired by my story



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Old 21-11-2008, 09:37 AM   #4
idontwantnomorescars
 
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glad things are looking better for you these days, i was also a member back in 2006 and things are now also looking up for me and i didnt think i would make it past 18. i am 19 next week and things have never been better.

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Old 21-11-2008, 03:57 PM   #5
silverfaerychild
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thnk you

i posted this mainly to let people know its possiable to see the light alittle bit



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