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Old 03-03-2020, 06:16 PM   #1
SilentBoy
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The Scars of The Past

It’s always interesting to see other peoples scars, and how they make me feel like I should have put more effort into self harm.

OK so you don’t know what they went through in comparison to yourself, what experiences they had, what help they may or may not have got, if they’ve stopped, or if they’re just hiding it more.

But it make you wonder.

What if I had cut more?

Or a little deeper?

Or more visibly?

What if I never stopped? Would I still be cutting now? Would I even be alive now?

I’ve always felt a strange sense of pride about my own scars, I’ve never wanted them to fade or disappear. Why should I? They show a story. Or at least they show that I have a story to tell.

But, I have a child now, what do I tell them when they inevitably ask questions. Ok. Shes only 14 months as I write this, but she’ll no doubt ask questions. I didn’t start self harming until I watched a TV program about it and thought “hey, there’s a neat idea”. I was so young, so impressionable, and it worked, so so well. Do I really want to be putting ideas, even inadvertently, in to someone else’s head?



~ SilentBoy

Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.

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Old 07-07-2020, 02:04 AM   #2
RaeNoctem
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I think that's a hard decision. I have always been honest about my scars. It was an addiction. I would drink or smoke to escape my troubles, but when I had neither I would harm. It was a release.

You to harm after watching something, I think is a much harder thing to explain. But obviously it was still similar, in the way you found it addicting. The adrenaline.

But despite the differences of how we got there, it is still an addiction, one never easy to explain.



Do not go out your way to gain a scar!

But a scar is a sign of a fighter! You are still standing!

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Old 07-07-2020, 02:06 AM   #3
RaeNoctem
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And thinking about scar comparisons isn't the best thought.



Do not go out your way to gain a scar!

But a scar is a sign of a fighter! You are still standing!

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Old 29-07-2020, 10:27 PM   #4
MostlyKait
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Scar comparisons are always a monster hiding in the shadows of my mind. Whenever I see a scar on someone else, my first thought is recognition. My second thought is that if it's more dramatic than mine, maybe I should have tried harder.

But it's not healthy. I always have to slap that feeling away. It's the addiction, calling to me.

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Old 27-09-2020, 03:43 AM   #5
JennaAnysse
 
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Hi all! I’ve been self harm free for three years in November.. and yet despite it feeling like something I’ve overcome, I find myself thinking about how small and pathetic my scars seem. It’s like I couldn’t even self harm well enough to leave deep scars. I know thoughts like these are triggering, so I’ve done my best not to relapse so far! It is comforting to know that others do feel the same way about their scars in comparison to others x

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Old 21-06-2021, 01:39 PM   #6
Acto808
 
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Started when I was in the 3rd grade from losing fights on purpose to head butting the wall by the time I was 13 it was all razor blades, at 16 I found out from a doctor stitching up my left wrist that when you get hurt your body release a hormone and that’s one of the main reason why I got addicted to it, the pain helped me. I’m 32 now my daughter just turned 3 and like you I’m very proud of my scars even tho theyhave faded a lot you can still tell how bad it was, one day my kid will see my scars and that day I will tell her the truth, how I truly felt at the time when I was cutting myself, why My entire left fore arm is covered in scars, why no one could stop me and the one thing in the world that would’ve stop me and tell her that I’ve made sacrifices in life to make sure she wouldn’t have to go threw any thing I’ve went threw especially self harm.



Forever forgotten

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Old 29-06-2021, 09:39 PM   #7
Pi.R^2
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Closing due to age. Rob, if you ever want this thread reopening, feel free to PM me.



No other sadness in the world would do


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