X, you're such a troll. Grow the hell up and take some responsibility for yourself. You're choosing to throw your life down the drain and dedicate your time to harvesting the sympathy of others. It's just so unclassy.
Awkwardly, I can see bits of me in you, but they're parts that I control, whereas you have embraced your internal drive to attention-seek and let it obliterate all other meaning in your life. I kind of wish I could try to help you, because I do see that you're not bad, just misguided, but I know right now that you will not listen to anything that isn't pandering kindness and mollycoddling, so I'll just not bother.
X-
You are actually a moron.
Do something positive with your life rather than playing the emo kid and maybe you'll get the attention you are so desperate for.
Y-
I love you. Thank you. You're a friend I don't deserve.
Z- I think you're lying to me. I think you hate me. I think you think I'm mad. I think you wish you'd never met me.
I got a diagnosis. Actually I got three. I relapsed into one but today I didn't engage in some of the behaviours concerned with that. I want you to be proud, but I haven't told you because it'd all be about how much this affects you. For that reason I wish she was my mother and not you. Hurts, this truth thing doesn't it?
I am Really really proud of how much I have actually improved these last few weeks. I have friends, I'm volunteering at all the places and I even got a unexpected phone call today from one of the managers and I was able to hold a conversation, not feel scared and actually felt happy and confident
I don't think I've ever felt this good before but I love it
Lol, like hell jodieface, it is I who is undeserving of this friendship. I'm aware that this could become something of a circular argument....
I was trying to think of something witty to post here, but alas, I have failed, and people will probably think that I'm all lame and soppy if I post about how much I love you, so perhaps I'll just post a toilet emoticon instead
This thread is paranoia fuel at its purest. In the back of my mind I always wonder if I'm the X everyone's talking about, even though I know it's not very likely at all. :P
Anyway, P, I'm glad you're feeling better. Seriously, it's a huge relief to know you're alright. I know last week was rough for you, what with the rape anniversary and all, but I told you it would pass. I'm happy that you're happy and I hope it lasts.
“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!”
― Bob Marley
X (it's actually you Conor) I'm sorry that you have so much woe recently. I read it, and want to say something, but never know what to say. Keep fighting, and do let me know if you need to 'talk' or if there's anything I can do.
Well, I feel kind of bad spamming this thread to the max, but apparently now I'm doing requests for posts on here!
So, x, I love you more than boobies! Can't believe you talked for half an hour straight on the phone last night, when I was engaging in ALL the mutism. You tell top quality stories. And thank you, if you hadn't called me, I think I would of lost control and engaged in le puking, which would of made me feel ALL the guilt.
So yeah, I love you. You're such a great support to so many people, I've no idea what we'd do without you.
Hope this has satisfied your desire for a post just for you!
I wished you noticed me, and noticed that everything is not okay. It is crumbling at my feet, however - my God is greater, he is bigger than the air I breathe. He will save the day, he will save me, my glorious.
I know it sounds stupid, but I wish we never grew up. I think those days when we were 14, going to the cinema every Sunday morning, making fun of every movie we watched, whether we liked it or not, wandering around the shops to pass the time, talking about girls and video games and music and movies and how we'd someday travel all over the world... I think those were the last genuinely happy days of my life. The last time I felt like there was nothing wrong with me or with life in general. Everything started going wrong for me about a year later. I miss those days. But I know we can't go back because we're men now. We have adult lives and adult responsibilities. We can't go back to being innocent kids. And I've been through too much since then to ever go back to being happy.
If u want the Rainbow,u gotta put up with the Rain
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
I am currently:
I dont want to say, its not you it me. How corny is that. But its genuine. I like you. Quite a bit. But the only way its gonna work is if you give me a whole load of space. But how do I tell you that without making myself sound like a total nutter to you. I dont want to have to say at the beginning of something hey I have loads of mental health issues going on right now. I really like you but in order for this to work youre just gonna have to leave me alone sometimes. Sometimes being fairly often. And if you do clingy or anything to full on Ill run at the speed of light in the other direction. Essentially, Im broken. And you dont know this yet. How can I make this work. I dont tell you anything we carry on falling in lust it wont take long for me to freak out and Ill run away. I tell you, you think Im a proper nut nut and its over before I get a chance to run away. Alternatively I let go, fall for you to forget all my problems, make you my world like I did with her, then when you turn out to be like everyone else Ill be heart broken all over again. And then Ill just be a broken person beyond repair. Maybe Im worrying prematurely, maybe I should just be enjoying the company of a gorgeous girl and seeing where it goes. I dont know. You have no idea how broken I am, what you saw when I reacted to what he said and came back fucked an hour later, thats the tip of the iceberg. But youre smart and gorgeous and a bit of a handful which I always seem to go for, and I enjoyed our little seaside holiday so much. It felt so natural having someone to cook with, and make cocktails with, and snuggle on the sofa with, and stroll on the beach with. I dont know how to not fuck this up.
'Where did I go wrong
My life's a bargain basement, all the good shits gone
Oh, and X (by which I mean Jenna), thank you. You know you can talk to me anytime too, if you need to. Listening to people rant is the only time I feel halfway useful, and I'm everyone's favourite amateur psychologist. I'm awesome at it (or so I'm told), and I'm available pretty much 24/7, so don't hesitate to avail of my services.
And that goes for the rest of you too. You know who you are.
