You know, up until a very recent time I would have classed myself as a staunch atheist. but recently, I've started to feel very drawn towards Christianity and to God. A few weeks after my Nana passes away I tried praying in a chapel that was situated in a school (where I was working) and this seemed to help. I dismissed the help as occuring only because it was a generally calming place and not due to any sort of divine power. However, I recently cut again after around 6 months clean, and a few nights recently I have been feeling so desperate, so I reached out to God and Jesus, and you know..it seemed to have worked. What I prayed for (which was essentially the strength to stay alive) happened, and I prayed to have one night at university where I didn't feel the need to drink to relax/have fun and tonight I had the most hilarious, uplifting sober night with a great friend who happens to be Christian. Even something as simple as the bands with a Christian message who I listen to (such as As I Lay Dying) seem to be so much more resonant these days.
Whilst there are numerous aspects of Christianity that I am having trouble reconciling with my own personal views, I can't deny what has occured recently. I am going to go a church this Sunday and see what occurs.
:throws a party for dissident: :)
God is just one of those things you need to experience for yourself. If you haven't, nothing is gonna change your mind. But once you have, nothing can keep you from looking for the truth. I wish you the best of luck in finding it, and in reconciling whatever you find with your personal views on life.
Random cute story for everyone. I work at an elementary school, watching kids before and after school. I don't know if you know what fortune-tellers are. Around here, they're this little origami things with colors and numbers and little sayings written inside like "you will eat a cookie today" or "you will do well on your math test". a kid's game, basically. today one of the kids wanted to "tell my fortune". so, I let her...and ended up with "someone loves you very much". which was cute :) joking around with the kid i said "hmm, i wonder who that is?" and she said, "i know!" which made me curious, so i asked her, and she said, "well, of course, you silly, it's jesus!"
aww =]
prayers needed for my friend from home... she just lost her dad =[
and i hate not being there for her =[
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I definitely agree with what you said about needing to experience God for yourself. Other people may encourage you to go to church etc, but I much preferred to find my own path.
Thinking of your friend HorseRidinBbe07
"How can I stand here
how can I stand here before you
Take what I have, take these broken remains"
Dissident - it's so great to hear your story! I'm really happy for you. And it's really encouraging to me...I grew up going to church, have considered myself a Christian for many years, and am even going to a Christian college currently. But I've been struggling a lot with my faith over the past couple of years. And, I don't know, I guess hearing stories of other people finding God, and God's work in their lives, is really encouraging to me. Helps restore my faith a bit. So thank you.
I grew up in a church, I've been a "Christian" for so long, and I go to a Christain college. It seems like when you are surrounded by faith all the time, you almost become immune to it.
I love to hear about others finding God as well. It's amazing just how incredibly BIG our God is, and the different ways He can reveal Himself!
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
that's really great, Dissident, and i hope God continues to support you in this way. a kind of warning though - if the feelings of consolation stop before you feel you've taken things much further (as can happen) don't tell yourself it was a lie or that you were mistaken. receiving this gift and having doubts aren't exclusive, they are both very real and need attention given to them at different times if we are to grow. enough of a downer now: it is really great to hear of how God is working in your life right now :)
Thank you all so much. It's great to hear that people hearing my experience has helped in any way. And waiting in the dark I definately take your words on board - I'm a little concerned about the point when doubts seep in, as many of my Christian friends have spoken about their own struggle with faith. I can imagine it must be fairly difficult to deal with, especially when the feeling of being supported by God is so strong. The contrast between the two feelings of doubt and hope, is basically what I'm trying to say!
"How can I stand here
how can I stand here before you
Take what I have, take these broken remains"
dissident :) that's awesome =D
and it definately is something you have to experience yourself...becoming a christian is absolutely amazing but you can't really explain it to somebody who hasn't experienced it :)
but i'm happy for you and i'll be praying for you!! =)
i agree with you, salanna.
also, pray for me? not only am i having a rough time right now, but something exciting might happen on sunday!
i'm supposed to visit a young adults group that's just starting up. they need people interested in ministry. it seems like a really great group of people with a heart to reach our generation. i've got my fingers crossed that what started as something I do here, on RYL, will become something real and physical i my home town through this group. we seem to have a disproportionately high amount of hurting people around here. if we could start this ministry...amazing things could take place. the area could certainly benefit from it.
at the moment, though, i'm really not doing so great :( please pray that i can get back on track spiritually...i still love humanity as much as i ever have, but it seems like i'm fighting a war against myself, lately. god feels far away and i'm just so...tired. and running on my own strength which is BAD, as we all know :) i really need to get back in the habit of reading my bible, it would make a huge difference...
Last edited by aquatickitten : 25-10-2008 at 10:44 PM.
Reason: adding
Whilst there are numerous aspects of Christianity that I am having trouble reconciling with my own personal views, I can't deny what has occured recently. I am going to go a church this Sunday and see what occurs.
i still have that problem ive come to the conclusion that its more logical to believe than dis believe.
*joins party*
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Everyone please keep my little brother in your prayers. He's still crushed by the loss of his girlfriend.... and the way that he's dealing with it is less than healthy.
Am starting to feel really nervous about going to church this evening :( Whilst I'm sure it will be very supportive etc, I'm just concerned about general protocol. I've never been to a religious service before and..I know it sounds stupid, but I'm worried about doing something wrong, or embarrassing my long time church going friends who I will be going with. To be honest, I think alot of this is stemming from the anxiety that normally overwhelms me when I go int any type of new situation. Just remembering to breathe. Hehe. :)
"How can I stand here
how can I stand here before you
Take what I have, take these broken remains"
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Or perhaps you could find a wednesday night service to go to...
I am truly amazed by God right now, and how He is using me to minister to a friend of mine! Like wow! I'll take time to fully explain at a later date...