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Old 20-07-2016, 12:48 AM   #1
postoffice
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
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some poetry

drifting like a gated note
inflated like we breathe
sown between the after thoughts
i'm torn and so unpleased

i dither in your lying words
and in my lies i hide
your heart is dust and my hands are wet
so i ruin you and you die

i loved you but i could not stay
i stayed but could not love
the way you told me pleasent things
was the way i broke it off

and on a plane i was alone
i crossed six thousande miles
but now i think id walk six more
just to see you smile

but i cannot be in your presence
for i know our love cant grow
towards the sky and naturally
you reap the earth below

i cannot think of a future where
forever we are not
but alas im tired of hurtful things
my blood begins to clot

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Old 30-08-2016, 03:50 PM   #2
Sooty
Sophie
 
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: East Sussex
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This is very well written and has a wonderful flow. I love your choice of words, they fit but are somewhat unexpected. I love the second stanza best. Keep writing!

Sophie.x



Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!

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Old 06-09-2016, 01:37 AM   #3
postoffice
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
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thank you Sophie that means alot

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