Having trouble deciding on an answer for that but I've ticked morning, particularly when I don't have to get up to be somewhere like work or have things to keep me occupied.
Can you figure out what it is about the morning that makes the urges worse? Are you lower than the rest of the day, or tired, or what? Maybe if you can figure that out you could look at ways to help with those things and that might lessen the urges.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
What is it about having the whole day ahead of you that's difficult? Would it help to plan things the night before or write a list of plans in the morning? Do you feel like there's too much time to occupy yourself or too much that you need to get done? I know it's hard not to focus on all the time that is ahead of you but if it's overwhelming then could you practice mindfulness/trying to stay in the moment?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I suppose I know I'm going to feel anxious and scared and i might have to fight voices. I've been going to church every morning so I have opportunities to buy blades and pills. But I love going to Mass and having a walk.
Those are a lot of worries to have, and they are still mights not definite so it's a shame that you're getting caught up in that worry. It's good that you have Mass to go to, maybe you could try and focus on that and the walk rather than the bad things that you fear might happen. You've been doing really well, you are stronger than the urges etc, and I hope that with time you find it less of a fight.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
It is stressful to have lots of things to be getting on with. Do you find yourself thinking lots about what you need to be doing next even when you're doing something else? It would be good if you could stay in the moment more with things and not see a huge picture of all the things you need to do with your day.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.