I wrote this over a year ago, when I was a stereotypical Emo kid. Anyway, despite the fact I don't really like it, I don't want to lose it, so I'm bringing it over here. See how far I've come really. And how I really shouldn't take up poetry!
Anyway, here goes.
ďLetís play doctors,Ē Becky once said,
ďCome on, itís ok, lie down on my bed.
Now take off your top, and then your skirt.
Donít worry Ė I promise - it wonít hurtĒ.
ďLie on your back,
Legs open wide.
What do you think youíre doing?!
Thereís no where to hide.Ē
So I lie on my back with my legs open wide,
Crying and screaming, but only inside.
ďStop.Ē She wonít stop. Notí Ďtil sheís done.
Well, at least one of us is having some funÖ
A stapler, some scissors, a pencil or two,
I try and try, thereís nothing I can do:
Kick and punch, bite and scream,
Hope to wake up Ė it must be a dream.
Next day at school,
I try to act cool.
She comes up to me, sayís sheíll tell what Iíve done
Unless I let her have a little more fun.
So for two more years
I live in fear
I was 8 then,
Didnít end Ďtil I was 10.
6 years later
Canít bring myself to hate her.
Hate myself instead Ė
Living every day wishing I were dead.
Canít be so selfish, canít do that
Instead I carve away all the fat
Lost, each day, in my razor blade bliss
Worst bit is I know I deserve this,
And then I drink
Itís easier to think
If Iím lucky Iíll forget
Something I donít regret.
And then thereís the purging, restricting and that
Canít you people see Iím just a lump of fat?
It needs to go away, someday soon
Half a stone, every full moon.
Nobody notices, the pain Iím feeling inside
I play a part Ė tell them Iím fine
Put on a smile, no one cares that itís fake -
Smiling so hard that my mouth starts to ache.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball