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Old 19-10-2017, 01:31 PM   #1
Moonlight Princess
Never forgetting to be awesome
 
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Breaking

Just needed to get it out.

I'm so tired of myself. I'm so confused by everything I think an feel. I can't learn anything. I'm so trapped in my head all the time that I can't live life. I have to work so hard to even behave in a basically acceptable way and even that is wrong the majority of the time. I can't see when I hurt people. I can't see at all because I'm blinded by my feelings. I'm frustrated all the time. I'm mostly frightened. At several points during most days I think quite seriously about dying but as I can't get away from the fact that that will cause more pain even than me sticking around so I can't do that.



You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.


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Old 19-10-2017, 03:48 PM   #2
Elmer
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I'm so sorry you are struggling Kiran. Remember you deserve to be patient with yourself, it's not your fault things are hard.
Knowing you, I highly doubt you are hurting people but I know it's hard to think you may have upset someone.
Do you have any professional help IRL?
Keep talking.



'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'

"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."

Jenna was here :P


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Old 19-10-2017, 04:39 PM   #3
Sketchy
 
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I don’t have useful words but I am sending you hugs. I really hope things get better for you soon. Do you have someone to talk to about this? Keep talking here.





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Old 19-10-2017, 05:52 PM   #4
tamobhuuta
 
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Leaving love and hugs x

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Old 20-10-2017, 04:13 PM   #5
one_step_closer
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It's so hard to be overwhelmed by inner feelings and having to battle through them to stay looking ok on the outside. Have you been through a time like this before? I understand the pain of being suicidal but being aware that it will hurt people so feeling like you have to keep going. I don't have any advice really, except for try and talk to someone you trust, I just wanted to let you know that I hear you and I hope things improve for you soon.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 21-10-2017, 10:33 PM   #6
Moonlight Princess
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer View Post
I'm so sorry you are struggling Kiran. Remember you deserve to be patient with yourself, it's not your fault things are hard.
Knowing you, I highly doubt you are hurting people but I know it's hard to think you may have upset someone.
Do you have any professional help IRL?
Keep talking.
Thank you so much Lio. I read your reply when I was so nervous about something that I wanted to escape it but you really helped me to relax enough to go through with it and it went well in the end! I'm so grateful to you. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment on Monday

Have you been through a time like this before?.[/quote]

Thanks Lindsay.

I seem to quite regularly find myself in similar places actually which is maybe why I need to talk to a doctor about how things are.

Thank you for the love and hugs Lorraine and Miriam. I really appreciate it. 💖



You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.


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Old 21-10-2017, 11:16 PM   #7
Serendipity.
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I'm really glad that you're going to make a doctor's appointment lovely. I know reaching out can be hard but you are wonderful and you so deserve some proper help with this

Sending lots and lots of love <3



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 22-10-2017, 10:58 AM   #8
Pi.R^2
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Kiran, in all seriousness, I'm not convinced that you could ever hurt someone if you tried!!

I'm so glad you're going to make yourself a doctor's appointment; it sounds like you could really do with just talking all this through and being guided through these confusing beliefs you have about yourself.

You are excellent <3



No other sadness in the world would do


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Old 22-10-2017, 03:55 PM   #9
MunchBox
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Thinking of you, Kiran.



Sweetpea


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Old 23-10-2017, 02:03 PM   #10
tamobhuuta
 
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Did you get an appointment? X

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