need to stop

[cinders25]

I need some help and support, I have been self harming for a number of years mainly using a razor blade to cut my arms, stomach and top of legs. I did stop last year for nine and a half months, but after the new year things got worse and I started again. At this time I have a wound on the top of my arm, It started over three weeks ago, and after the first week it got an infection in it so I took antibiotics it cleared up, then I was away with family so I had no chance to SH. When we came back it was only a few days before I started again, and even though I was told not to go over the same place, I did I have been cutting once or twice a day for the last six days, it needs treating but I just cant go, nobody knows that Im still doing it, I have no one to turn to and feel so low, it is the only thing that helps, please if anybody has any advice to offer I would be very grateful, I am desperate that I will go to far one day, then what.

[Pennacious]

i do not really have any advice or anything because as of right now i am in the same boat. i have been harming for eighteen years, cutting for thirteen. i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
i wish that i had something to say to you to help make things better, but i don't.
hope you are okay.

[PassedExpectations]

even though it may seem intimidating or like its a bad idea, it sounds like you really need to get the wound taken care of it, and definately stop harming on top of it. who gave you the antibiotics in the beginning? maybe they can help. but definately get it taken care of properly.

i know its really scary to ask for help and fear that your family might find out about it. but it will be easier for all of you if they find out now rather than when the situation is really serious cause of a serious infection.... how did they react when they first found out that you were harming? telling them yourself and asking them for help may get you more support than if they find out accidentally

[petal]

Thank you for your replies they help, things arent any easier I cut my arm quite bad on tuesday I had to go to my health centre as it was deep, they said it needed stitches which they couldnt do, but I begged them to use steri-strips which they finally did my family know about this one. I am having a really bad day I sh early this mornin leaving my arm in a mess, I havent been anywhere I cant face being treated as a low life. I saw my social worker today she knew I had sh last week as I missed my appt with her, plus the hospital phoned her, but she never mentioned it, but I was able to tell her what was happening, I have been writing poems there not very good but it helps I now understand why I cant forget about my childhood and my family even though I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused including rape. I cant forget as the memories are all I have left of my eary life and if I forget then I wont know who I am. Please reply if you can as it is only here that I feel understood.