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Old 30-01-2013, 10:28 PM   #1
Lovekooldude
 
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Secrets...

Lately I have been thinking. Not only about by self harm but about my friends. I hate keeping secrets from them, but by doing this I feel like I'm protecting them from the ugly truth about me.
However, I feel that it is time to face my fear and tell my best friend. I have only ever told one person, and that was by text which I now wish I had spoken to them face to face. This is how I want to tell my best friend; face to face. I think it will be better that way, but I am worried about how she will react.
I don't know how to start the conversation, where to tell her or handle the reaction. Please could someone help me with this, I would be truly greatful.
Thanx xx
~Lucy

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Old 31-01-2013, 12:52 AM   #2
lilmissjay
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Hey! I think it's wonderful that you're wanting to open up to your best friend. One thing I remember that I had to keep reminding myself when I finally decided to tell people was that everyone will react in different ways, and some of those ways may not be so positive at first. The thing is, though, they may just be in shock since it's hard for anyone who cares about you to find out that you feel bad enough to hurt yourself. Sometimes they can react even worse, but that only shows what sort of friend they are. As for how to tell them, I think your best bet is to do it some where private when it's just the two of you. I really wish I could tell you how to start it, but honestly I just winged it when I decided to tell people.

Anyways, I'm sorry if that was all over the place haha. I really do hope telling your friend goes well. Take care and good luck :)






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Old 31-01-2013, 10:22 AM   #3
Fire Fly
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Hey lovely,
Welldone for wanting to seek help.
It's very difficult telling people about how you are feeling. Could you perhaps just start of by saying you 'feel rubbish' and then everything else? Face to face is generally alot better and you can see how they react. If you think you won't be able to say anything could you perhaps write it down and hand over the note? X



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Old 31-01-2013, 02:48 PM   #4
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Hey,

It's fantastic that you are reaching out for some support. Do you think that it might also be a good idea to speak to an adult - GP, parent/carer, teacher?

Pick a place that you feel comfortable and somewhere that you aren't going to be interrupted by others so that you are able to talk openly and honestly with her.

As for how you tell her, I think it's often best to just say it how it is. If you find talking very difficult, perhaps you could write it down, just in case you can't verbally say it - you're still sitting with her face to face, but just as a back up plan?

We can't really ever predict how people are going to react to anything we tell them, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't reach out. Perhaps you could tell her that you are worried about how she will feel once you've told her? An important thing to remember is that often, when people care about someone a lot, worry shows as anger.... It's not anger as in, RARGH! It can be more, 'You need to stop, why are you doing this, why?!', and often, that type of reaction is quite common when we tell people things that worry them. People that care about us don't want us suffering or hurting, and it's often a type of 'If I say this then it'll make everything better'. Once you have chatted properly, that tends to calm down a little. <3 It is purely care. xxxxx



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Old 01-02-2013, 10:55 PM   #5
PassedExpectations
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i don't have anything to add, you've gotten really good advice :)

have you decided what you want to do?




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
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Old 26-02-2013, 09:23 PM   #6
Lovekooldude
 
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Hey
I'm sorry I haven't replied in ages. No I still haven't told my friend. I have come so close many times but the words just won't leave my mouth. It was easy to tell my other friend because she had already brought up the question. Argh I'm so annoyed with my self!

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Old 26-02-2013, 10:16 PM   #7
DontLookUp
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how about trying to write a line down or something and show it to her and that could hopefully kick start the conversation. well done for trying :) make sure you are in a private place and have time to talk before you start cause that can help u feel more relaxed xx



♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...

There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed.
Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.


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Old 27-02-2013, 02:23 AM   #8
PassedExpectations
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do your two friends know each other? if they do, maybe the one you already told could help you get started talking to the one who you want to tell




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
Katie


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