wow ive only just read this and its brilliant it completely sums up how i feel, im 26 (wont be long before 27) Im concidering seeing a GP and wrote another letter thsi week in which i said i shouldnt be like this at my age,
For the longest time I was scared of coming into the veteran corner (hence only really venturing in today!). I knew you lot were absolutely lovely, but I was worried you'd all become such good friends with each other, you wouldn't want anyone else to come in.
But I told myself I was being silly, and here I am :)
I remember back on V2 I said somewhere that I couldn't wait to be a vet. Someone PMed me and asked what university I was planning on going to for my training, and I realised she thought I wanted to be a medical vet! Still makes me laugh, the idea of one going through training in order to be able to post here :p
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Being old and still being mentally ill - with a tendency to self harm no less.. very misunderstood, indeed. People do think you should have grown out of "that attention seeking behaviour".
It does become a question of management. I told my line manager that whilst she may be fed up with my bad days, how much more fed up am I of having bad days (one-three unmanageable days usually every 28 days). How much more fed up am I of having to orchestrate my life in ways to accomodate my mental illness. I live with the regular - very regular - suicidal ideation and impulses to self harm, day in and out (yes somedays clear of thoughts but not the consequences of previous actions) as I have done, in my forties now, for oh, the last 25-30 odd years. It is a way of life, and if one seems blase, it is because one does get to the stage of just trying to manage things to minimise impact and maximise damage control (in all that that may mean). And, yes, many years of therapy and more years of tears have brought us to this point. I manage this which is my life to the best of my ability, but would gladly pass the baton on -- actually: no, I would not want to pass it to anyone else, that they should have to take it on.
Glib and know it all, perhaps, in the advice we give, but from the knowledge of experience, one's own and one's friends, and sometimes from the losses that sadly occurred along the road to where we now are.
Not that I have much to say about the forum, yet.
Hi i have never really thought of my self as a vet but at 28 as old as Iam!!! I guess that makes me a vet. nice to meet you mathew and thanks for a very good post. I totaly agree with everything you said.
well done. free Hugs for Everyone.