Contains abuse - Plans for leaving
So. I am stuck in an emotionally (mostly) abusive relationship.
*If* you know me IRL and I honestly can't remember who is here and who isn't - please keep this to yourself, the last thing I need is a rescuer running in and making **** complicated. Feel free to PM (here only) if you want to check in or whatever, but overall I'm safe, but I'm tired.
DH is in therapy for perpetrators, I am in partner support. We're both trying to break the cycle of past trauma. He does have redeeming qualities, there is love there, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
Change is happening, but slow, and like all change, we have days where things go backwards.
Last night went way backwards.
And now, for the first time in a long time I am thinking about leaving. If this doesn't improve, if responsibility isn't taken, if I just can't bear to look at his face anymore.
I think I need contingency plans. I have emergency plans. But I need help thinking about how to do the leaving if its needed.
We have debt, and moderate income - the debt is enough that month to month we just about break even, but we scrimp, and if an unexpected bill arrives we're screwed.
How do you afford it?
What happens with selling the house?
What happens with custody?
Just - where do you start?
Any advice/past experience appreciated, I may update periodically with my own plans.