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Old 14-11-2016, 08:03 AM   #1
Eir
ignoring the cacophony
 
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Is this ok?

I'm thinking I need to end the relationship. Its not working for many reasons. I don't really think I can do it talking. So i was thinking of writing a comprehensive but not offensive letter, giving it to him and waiting for a response.
The main reason I'm thinking of a letter is i'll get upset leading to being irrational and probably giving up on the whole thing. I always end up upset and giving in in these talks. I love the him he was, but now beliefs don't mesh and I'm never home anyway due to work and where we live.
He refuses to move closer to town so i can see him and my daughter more. In many ways he is happier out there. I'm not, cos I spend no time there, never see my daughter. He came up with pipe dream of him dropping me to work,, but he doesn't even have his learner's permit. He wants another year, so the girl is at svhool and he can work
I don't have another year like this in me. I'll end up hospitalised.
I have the opportunity for a bond free house. To share with my younger brother. I figure if I take her at least three days a week he can work and pay for his life out there. I owe his parents back rent because I couldn't save anything cos I now have a car and I had to travel for uni. Uni is over now. But I'll be wearing the debt. I'll pay them back. I may be able to contribute to rent outthere for a bit.
I'm just over it. Can't deal with it anymore



...I try to outsmart him, but somehow he knows,
Wherever I am, that f***ing dog goes... - Dog, Andy Bull

No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer, or inflict. - Amenadiel, Lucifer

Why is the path unclear,
When we know hope is near
Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear
~~Margo is my penguin 🐧!!! ~~

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Old 14-11-2016, 09:13 AM   #2
Margo
 
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Sounds like good plan to me. Writing is perfect for the reasons you give. My advice would be to make sure you are not there while he reads it and arrange to be somewhere with your daughter to let him take it all in. Time is key with this sort of thing and it's important he's had time to gather a response that's not just off the cuff and will end in a row.

If you can talk to parents about it I think that will help. Get as many in your corner as you can.

Best of luck xx



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 22-11-2016, 03:23 PM   #3
Eir
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So it's over. Instead of a letter he got verbal diarrhoea over the phone. Not the whole story but that will eventually come out.
It's actually been ok. We agreed on some parenting things which is good. And we want to be friends and do our best for our girl.
Now on to the hard bits.
First him. We've had sex twice since we've broken up. And that's it. I just feel squeamish about it. No more sex.
Because no letter, there are things he doesn't know. And I'm not sure I'm up to telling him.
I owe his parents approximately $2500 for back rent. Really crappy.

Other yucky things.
My grad position starts in JULY, and I can't really RN before it cos that would mean I'm not a new grad. So I'll be continuing AINing until it comes up. A small chance it may be in Feb, if someone pulls out but yeah. Crappy crappy crappy.

So I'm feeling like a fairly awful human being.



...I try to outsmart him, but somehow he knows,
Wherever I am, that f***ing dog goes... - Dog, Andy Bull

No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer, or inflict. - Amenadiel, Lucifer

Why is the path unclear,
When we know hope is near
Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear
~~Margo is my penguin 🐧!!! ~~

Eir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-11-2016, 12:07 PM   #4
Margo
 
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Making a break is hard. Without a total split I think it's common for couples to keep having sex even when you know it's not right.

You shouldn't be hard on yourself. You were together for good reasons once and it's hard to let go.

You've done amazingly with all the problems. The rent thing will sort itself. Right now it's time to focus on one day at a time just for you and your daughter.

Take care xxx



~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P



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Old 24-11-2016, 03:04 AM   #5
Eir
ignoring the cacophony
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Australia
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Thank you.



...I try to outsmart him, but somehow he knows,
Wherever I am, that f***ing dog goes... - Dog, Andy Bull

No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer, or inflict. - Amenadiel, Lucifer

Why is the path unclear,
When we know hope is near
Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear
~~Margo is my penguin 🐧!!! ~~

Eir is offline   Reply With Quote
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