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Old 09-11-2019, 07:54 PM   #1
Koala hugs
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
I could possibly have the life I've always dreamt of if it weren't for my self harm TRIGGER WARNING

If it weren't for my self harm and my illness I'd b a very different person that's for sure. I have now reached an age where my dreams are starting to slip thru my fingers, or at least that's how it feels.

I have dreamed of having children since I was a child myself and if anything it's a desperate yearning that has only gotten stronger over the years.

However I am not with anyone nor do I plan to be. My illness played havoc with my last relationship and I'd rather be single than go thru, or put anyone else thru, that again.

I have been told many times how good I am with children and babies and how I would make a good mum. If it was easier or I wasn't ill I believe I would have children already.

The problem is that I am mentally ill and still self harming I tend to get better while in therapy but get worse again when said therapy stops. This is worrying me especially when it comes to me wanting to be a mum..
And then there's the matter of how to get pregnant without a bloke. I'd be looking at a lot of money to go thru private ivf or I could go down the free donor UK groups on fb etc but I would feel less comfortable with doing that as legally Itd become more complex and I am not sure about it.

In an ideal world I would go private ivf and would have the money to do so. Short of having a windfall or a massive surprise backpayment this is looking unlikely right now.

And finally I am looking at doing a childcare course in September and I have applied online for this already so that's possibly another hurdle as I can't cope with having kids and doing a college course at the same time.

Finally I would have to come off my antipsychotics if I do decide to get pregnant as otherwise it could harm the baby. I've just turned 29 and feel like time is running out

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Old 22-11-2019, 10:16 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
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It's so difficult thinking about things that might have been had mental illness not gotten in the way.

Good luck with your childcare course. It sounds like you'll be great at that!

Would you consider fostering? That could be something to aim for if when you reach a stable enough point if it is does end up being a bit too late for you to have your own children.



We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 22-11-2019, 11:20 PM   #3
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Thankyou so much for replying. Yeah I had considered fostering but I don't think I can as I have mental health issues I'd love to tho. Thanks yeah college interview next week eek lol hoping I get in fingers crossed.

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Old 23-11-2019, 07:56 PM   #4
Bouquaise
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You’re still not too old to be a parent and people are leaving this stage of their life until later quite often. Will your course have a practical element to it where you can work with children? Perhaps this will lead you down a new path to a new career? One step at a time, though, and see how well you settle in to the course first. Wishing you luck with your interview.

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Old 23-11-2019, 08:15 PM   #5
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Thanks xx yeah I will, if I get into college, be able to go on placements and I have already had experience in a nursery as a volunteer. Hope it does lead to a job that would b awsum I am currently on benefits as I'm unable to work due to mental health however I don't think I want to be on benefits forever

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Old 24-11-2019, 08:42 PM   #6
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I'm currently doing a childcare course so if you have any questions, feel free to pm me.

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Old 24-11-2019, 10:00 PM   #7
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Fantastic thanks so much xxx what country r u in what level course r u doing if ur in the UK

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Old 24-11-2019, 10:01 PM   #8
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Just seen ur in Scotland I'm such a div not noticing that sooner sorry

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Old 24-11-2019, 10:39 PM   #9
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The equivalent to level 3. It’s hard, lots of assessments. What level are you applying for?

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Old 25-11-2019, 10:10 PM   #10
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Level one

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Old 25-11-2019, 11:22 PM   #11
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Cool. Good luck with it.

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Old 26-11-2019, 04:10 PM   #12
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Thanks gud luck with yours too x

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Old 27-11-2019, 03:32 PM   #13
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It went well its gonna be a slightly different route than I thought but I think it will be OK n I will get back there

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Old 29-11-2019, 03:32 AM   #14
Bouquaise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koala hugs View Post
Thanks xx yeah I will, if I get into college, be able to go on placements and I have already had experience in a nursery as a volunteer. Hope it does lead to a job that would b awsum I am currently on benefits as I'm unable to work due to mental health however I don't think I want to be on benefits forever
That’s a great attitude to have. I sincerely hope it all goes well for you.

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Old 29-11-2019, 09:08 PM   #15
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Thank you so much xx

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