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Old 23-03-2020, 08:18 PM   #121
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
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I'm glad you're finding ways to stay safe. Remember your CPN is there so use his support if you need to.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-04-2020, 02:31 PM   #122
tamobhuuta
 
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The last few weeks I have been spending as much time as possible with lights off because when I turn the lights on it connects with the implant and turns on the cameras. Mum has texted my CPN because she is worried about me but I'm not harming myself so what's the problem?



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 09-04-2020, 04:35 PM   #123
one_step_closer
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What you're thinking right now is something that is connected to when you are unwell. Would you be ok with speaking with your CPN about it if you get the chance?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-04-2020, 05:34 PM   #124
Auror.
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It might not be harming you, but that sounds like a really scary way to have to live. Being in fear all the time is really stressful and energy draining.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-04-2020, 08:15 PM   #125
tamobhuuta
 
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There's no need to tell him. Anyway he will be off now for the bank holidays.



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Old 10-04-2020, 01:27 PM   #126
one_step_closer
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Is there someone else you can contact if you need to? How are things today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 10-04-2020, 01:52 PM   #127
tamobhuuta
 
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My parents are supportive and there's a phone number if things are really bad.

I am ok. I'm sitting in front of the TV with the light off.



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 10-04-2020, 03:42 PM   #128
one_step_closer
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It might be worth having a chat through things anyway. You Mum is obviously worried.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 10-04-2020, 08:14 PM   #129
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Who with?



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Old 11-04-2020, 11:19 AM   #130
one_step_closer
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You said you had a phone number if things got bad? Or wait until after the Easter break and see if you can get a hold of your CPN. Is your CPN checking in on you regularly?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-04-2020, 11:50 AM   #131
tamobhuuta
 
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I spoke to him about about some meds the other week but we didn't really talk. I last saw him when came to a ward rounds in hospital. So no, we're not talking regularly. But I do have the number if I'm really struggling, which I'm not.



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Old 11-04-2020, 01:36 PM   #132
one_step_closer
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Is that ok with you, to not be having regular contact and just phoning if you need to?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-04-2020, 02:13 PM   #133
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Yeah that works for me at the moment. He's always been good about having contact when I ask.



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Old 12-04-2020, 10:45 AM   #134
tamobhuuta
 
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I looked up my BMI and on the NHS website it said I was healthy but on another site it says I'm overweight. I'm confused and sad and guilty.



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Old 12-04-2020, 11:11 AM   #135
one_step_closer
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I think I'd trust the NHS website more. I think CPNs have access to an official NHS BMI tracker thing if you wanted to ask your CPN for clarification. BMI isn't always accurate though or an indicator of how your health is. If it makes you feel so terrible maybe you shouldn't check your BMI. I'm sorry it has made you feel bad, is there something you can do to take your mind off things?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-04-2020, 11:21 AM   #136
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I thought I would be ok with my BMI because I wear a 'healthy ' clothes size and although ideally I would be underweight, being a healthy weight meant I didn't have to hate my body. Then this site says I'm overweight... I will try not to check it again, not weighing myself made a big difference.

If I eat healthily today, that will make me feel better, more in control. And TV helps me distract and relax.



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Old 13-04-2020, 05:03 PM   #137
not_so_insig
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Weight isnt just about BMI though it's important. It doesnt take into account how muscular you are for example. If you wear an healthy clothes size then that's ok.



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"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 13-04-2020, 07:03 PM   #138
tamobhuuta
 
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Thanks for your reassurance :)



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Old 14-04-2020, 06:13 PM   #139
tamobhuuta
 
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I had a missed call from my CPN. What do I say if he calls again?



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Old 14-04-2020, 06:15 PM   #140
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What would you like him to know?





It's a long way down
On this rollercoaster.



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