My bff is a cheater

[Ms. Sunshine]

Found out my best friend of over 20 years is a pathological cheater. Been cheating on her amazing husband for over 15 years with at least 4 different guys. She tried to make me a part of her cheating heart by bringing me along for dinners or out on the town. I never condones her cheating and eventually put my foot down and set my own boundaries. I got tired of hearing about it her sneaking around and lieing to her husband.

Im soposto to be her best friend but have found myself more and more disgusted with her. The more i tried to pull away from her, the more angry and mad at me she got.

Now im being blamed for not being a good friend to her because i dont always pick up her calls or sometimes make it a point not to hang out with her.

Recently we reunited with some other very old friends and have all reconnected however i still remained a bit distant. There was a pool party couple weeks ago and me and my bff wearnt really talking. I went to hand her an invitation to my sons baby shower and she gave it back to me. I ws so upset and felt very disrespected. I confronted her as to why she would give it back to me and she came up with some lame excuse like her name wasnt on it and also told the other girl there that i handed it to her son and not her so she had no idea what it was. To make a long story short i was so hurt by this and her whispering and flipping out on me that i calles her a whore as i was walking out. There were a couple people who heard, our old friends. And that night she stayed at the party and talked crap about me. I went home and made a post on fb on what a real friend is... Did not call her out on anything just stated what friends do. Now everyone is upset with me thinks im the crazy one and has ousted me.

Im not sure how to go forward. Should i have continued to be her bf and support her either way? Cheater or not? It just disgusts me as ive been cheated on and also was a cheater and hurt a whole lot of people. Its just sad. And what shes doing is not right or fair to her the son or the husband. Ive chosen to walk away. But in the meantime im the friend that cant be trusted. I shouldnt have posted anything but was hurt and knew she was over there talking about me it was more of in my defense kind of thing..

[Pi.R^2]

That sounds like a really difficult situation. You're entitled to leave a friendship if you feel uncomfortable in it and I personally would also struggle to be very close to someone who thought it was OK to cheat as it's something I feel strongly about, and if she's going to talk crap about you, the she's not being a good friend.

I agree that your response probably wasn't ideal, but it's easy to say things we regret when we're angry! How about apologising to her for losing your temper but saying that you need some distance in the friendship because you really struggle to deal with the choices that she makes? With the other friends, are you keen to remain friends with them?