hold sweet silver in my palm, reflecting my inside
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nebraska, U.S.
I am currently:
im sooooo glad i found this thread!! my heart is jumping for joy right now... i know what you guys mean when you doubt god... ive been saved since i was about 4, but i was so unsure of my slef that i got saved like 4 times after that. i was a really strong christian for a long time. i started kinda falling away when i started SI'ing about 3 and a half years ago. im now 17... i am fartehr away now that ive ever been and i feel so alone.
i just feel so guilty being a major part of my church and being a witnes for God, but i cant even keep my self straight and on track. im a worship leader, a witnes at our school, my parents lead our sr. high youth group. im one of the oldest kids in our church, and i help with the smaller ones in cuday school, or siging, or camps, i even babysitt most of them, but im still here destroying what god made as a gift. idk
but im so mad at him right now.. and i know i shouldnt be, ahnd he dsoesnt do this to hurt us, but its like hes teasing me.. idk
i just wnated to say thanx for this thread, im very thankfull for it......
hope im not so negative next time...sry
if someone would, i would love it for someone to pm me about this subject, im totally confused and lost right now... i need help.
luvz and hugz
emz
I run in the rain so you can't see my tears
i dress in the dark so you can't see my scars
i don't let you touch me,
so you won't feel my pain
....keep me safe from the demons that come after me in my sleep. They haunt my dreams. wrap your arms around me, so i feel your warmth and love throughout my eternal night
oh Silent i am sorry about that, but remember it was just a slip up, everyone has them, you need to accept that it happened and move on don't get hung up on it.
*hugs everyone*
"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."
hold sweet silver in my palm, reflecting my inside
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nebraska, U.S.
I am currently:
I screwed up soooooooo bad. im not injured that badly, but i just screwed up a year of being si free. im so mad my boyfriends is sad now because i promised him, andi broke it. but i promised mysdlef more, and now im pissed that i had to screw it all up. i was doing so good!!!! idk. he still loves me, and im starting to pray more. im letting god back in my life. mayby ill get better. im hoping i can learn to not get mad at god and not let myslef go that far again. i just wish god wouldve stepped in and stoppined me, why didnt he!!!?>?
idk
luvz
emz
I run in the rain so you can't see my tears
i dress in the dark so you can't see my scars
i don't let you touch me,
so you won't feel my pain
....keep me safe from the demons that come after me in my sleep. They haunt my dreams. wrap your arms around me, so i feel your warmth and love throughout my eternal night
hi.. i dont know if you gutys can help but i am really struggling with both SI and my faith right now.. and i have been told i should go on retreat.. i know that it is the end of the summer but do you guys know of any good retreats happening in the UK? i know about youth 2000 but i cant do that weekend.. i am desperate i need something really bad! i dont belong to a parish here asuch coz im new to the area.. and dont really know anyone here.. so any advice would be much appreciated! thanks xx
______________________________ The hardest thing in this world is to live in it!
Hey found this thread... and I kinda suck at the forums... I prefer hanging out in the chat really... but I found this and had to say something ^_^.
I'm 19 and I'm catholic actually. I'm actually kinda struggling with my faith right now. Like there's times where I seriously question and doubt, but deep down I know I believe and I'm glad I'm not the only one who's Christian and in this situation. But if anyone wants to talk about their faith I'm here and I'm into it ^_^.
For those who are struggling to hold on to their faith...
Its ok to question yourself and your beliefs, you wouldnt be human otherwise.
When i was a believer i used to get mad at myself too wondering if i was making God angry by doubting his love for me.
But i just wanna tell ya that you should hang on to that bit of faith that you've got left because, speaking from my experience only, its upsetting not to be able to believe in something great and it makes you more alone for sure.
Take Care
xx
hey, was wondering if you could help me out with something, im just wondering if people feel of have felt the same way i do...
i have mood swings and si among other bad habits and every week as sunday afternoon approaches (such as now) i have the same battle of do i go to church or not, its just that you could place bets that i feel tearful down and destructive within hours of having to get ready and leave..
i got to a pentecostal church and some weeks i love the worship but days like today and the past few weeks the thourght of going in there to happy clappy people beaming singing and dancing makes me want to crawl into a ball and cry cos i just cant hack it, ive tried going in half way through but feel guilty every time the pastor looks at me when i do i feel about an inch tall.
sometimes i go despite being down but my friends can tell instantly and on many a occasion i have litteraly been pinned against a wall by my mothers friend and prayed for which just makes me feel alienated even more. ive tried giving this up to gods will and will continue too but wouldnt the depression and self harm be leaving just as much at home as it would be at church if its just me praying?
meh, argh and neurgh, 10 minutes till i have to leave if im going to go, im still in my pj's and almost in tears, sometimes i really hate this...
I can't remember whether I've posted in this thread before or not, and honestly, I'm too lazy to check. So, hello! If you don't know, my name's Rae, and I can't recall exactly how long I've been a Christian, but I was baptised in May 2004, went AWOL from God, but after an absolutely amazing week at Soul Survivor, I want to be friends with God again. However, I'm finding it hard to reconcile certain aspects of my life with my faith, including continuing (but thankfully further apart) desires to hurt myself, and I haven't gone back to church yet.
So, um...yeah. I want to talk to Christians!
~~ if love is friendship set on fire, let's turn this world to ashes ~~
When I Say, "I am a Christian, " I'm not shouting, "I am saved!" I'm whispering, "I get lost!" That is why I chose this Way. When I say, "I am a Christian, " I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble And need someone to be my guide. When I say, "I am a Christian, " I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I am weak And pray for strength to carry on. When I say, "I am a Christian, " I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed And cannot ever pay the debt. When I say, "I am a Christian, " I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are too visible But God believes I'm worth it. When I say, "I am a Christian, " I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches which is why I seek His Name. When I say, "I am a Christian, " I do not wish to judge. I have no authority. I only know I am loved.
" Believe in yourself, for it is only you who can determine whether or not you are the achiever of your dreams."
Whenever I see this thread I want to respond to people's posts but I never quite know what to say.
It's also tough because RI has a very clear policy on not encouraging SI so I don't want my view on it to get my posts deleted. Basically, I don't think SI is inherently a sin; it can be if you make it an idol, but I think the act of cutting isn't by itself sinful. The verse about your body as the temple of the holy spirit was referring to sexual sins and doesn't entirely apply. One way I'd heard it said was that if it takes you further away from God, if it pushes you away from him, then it's a sin. For me, sometimes I do it purely out of boredom and I like the way they look on my arm. In this sense I don't think it's a sin. It's somewhat a gray area.
The reason I think it applies is because it seems so many in this thread are overwhelmed with guilt over cutting. Is it something we should try to stop using to feel better or cope with things, yes, there are other ways God would want us to deal with things. At the same time however letting guilt flood us is only going to make things worse. Moral guilt and feeling guilty are two different things. Moral guilt is the state of being guilty before a perfect God, while feeling guilty is what satan tries to use to make us feel like we're not worthy of going before God and praying. No matter what we do, if we're Christians, God won't love us less. Also, no matter what we do, we're still saved and all our sins, past and ones we haven't done yet, are forgiven. Feeling guilty doesn't help anything.
There's a lot more I could say but that's kind of on my heart now.
Hey there, I am christian and I am starting to get to that pointof trying to be as serious about it as possible. I have Si'd for over 3 years now and am really trin to recovr from it..
Helooo I'm a Methodist, having been christened at birth. My opinions of my religion has swayed back and forth since I was a little girl, but now, I think I'm starting to find some sort of peace of mind in religion. I've always wanted to believe, but I didn't know any religious people when I was younger so I supposed I just tried to fit it. I plan on becoming more religious now though.
xxx
Well content loves the silence, It thrives in the dark, With fine winding tendrils,That strangle the heart,
They say that promises sweeten the blow, But I don't need them, No, I don't need them...
hey, prayer request- i've got a counseling sess here at uni on tuesday and im panicking about it.. so prayers that i dont chicken out are muchly appreciated ><
love you guys
<3
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
