Anyone had any experience on being honest about eating disorders?
As far as I know I'm nowhere near hospitalisation or anything but find comments on what I eat or my size very hard, even when they are positive i.e. "you always eat so healthily"; "you're lovely and small". Comments about weight lost also worry me even though I know I can't be dismissed unless I am found to be incapable of doing my job which with my eating stable at the best it's been in a while I won't be
Last edited by LittleCloud : 28-12-2014 at 08:30 AM.
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
What's your question exactly- are you asking about whether your bosses might have questions about your ability to do your job, or about how to deal with uncomfortable comments from colleagues?
Don't want to start rambling about my experiences until I'm clear about what you're actually asking!
I can relate to what you're saying. With my job I only see some of my co-workers every so often. Before the holidays I had a meeting with them and had many comments about my weight. I tried to just laugh it off, make exercise excuses and change the subject. When I was leaving they were telling me I needed to take 5 cookies with me to eat and to eat a lot over Christmas, etc. It made me feel uncomfortable, because none of them know, nor do I want them to know I have a problem.
I never fretted i lost weight a year ago , not many ppl have said a word. people who just meet me say the most. Works work, it doesn't have to be personal or what you will. Do your job, then get paid.
Last edited by Serendipity. : 10-01-2015 at 04:35 PM.
Reason: removing ED numbers.
Some people in my work know cause I've told them but others guessed although I haven't confirmed anything with them. I had to take some time off sick because of it and when I came back people were saying you look so much better and so well which made me think they were saying I'd put on weight. I do feel as if people watch whether I eat or not which can be quite uncomfortable.
As long as ur able to do ur job they can't do anything. I found people to be genuinely concerned more than anything else.
Thanks.
I guess what I really wonder is do people have to know and if they do how did your colleagues respond?
A few people know- people I trust who are supportive, but I don't want everyone knowing because I don't trust them as much. I guess I'm scared of what their perceptions will be but in reality they need proof that I am not capable and I won't give it to them.
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
True. To put this in context- as a child I was told I had a learning disability and what I struggled with; my teachers were told; my school friends were shown through how I was treated; their parents and all my parents friends were told; my parents told my uni friends behind my back and even people who didn't know me personally assumed throughout my childhood for the info that was available. I'm terrified of those assumptions.... I don't know if I can put into words how scared. Even though now I have my own life and know I have a right to choose who I tell things. It scares me that people will talk even though it shouldn't affect me. In a way I want to say this is what is happening; medically I eat enough for my body to function. But I don't want them to know; I don't want the assumptions. It's pretty messed up
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Well on here im apparently a talker in real life im quiet.I use to talk alot. Basically people only know what you tell them, they will talk about it behind your back. Just leave ppl out of what you dont want them to know. That stuff is personal, your doctor, your man:woman s.o., not the general population.
Thanks for understanding Auror- it's the comments that worry me and make me wonder if by speaking with my boss (hopefully not with her telling everyone) things might improve. I feel a lot of guilt when references are made (particularly infront of clients) to my smaller portions and "healthy eating" because quite frankly i don't think I'm a good example to anyone on this. I've struggled with comments from friends and others about how they could lose the whole of my weight and still be healthy etc. I try to explain where appropriate and just shrug them off in work. I work as a carer and the work is quite physical which is why I wondered if I would be better telling my boss in the context of letting her know I have support and that I am eating enough not to put others or myself at risk on shift. You're right though- the friends who know at work have been really supportive and even though I realise how lame it is to be told you're doing well eating peanut butter on toast this is something I struggle with and am struggling to overcome so perhaps they have a point. I guess I fear that everyone knows already because of my past and the way my family made information on absolutely everything available to everyone in my life. I struggled a lot with boundaries and feeling comfortable about who I could tell things after. Sorry to be so long and rambly
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
So do you think that your boss suspects something? Sorry if I've not interpreted that right.
If there are particular people who consistently make comments about your eating, could you speak to them and just say that you've got some issues with food and that it would be super-helpful if they tried not to comment on it? Or you could ask one of the people you trust to have a word with them, and ask them to keep it quite vague if you'd rather they didn't know the particulars.
In terms of being worried about what people know and if they ever talk about it, could you ask one of the people you trust if they've ever heard colleagues discuss your eating? That could help reassure you that things aren't the same as when your parents told everyone things about you in the past, because at the most I imagine people have maybe expressed concern that you don't eat enough, but nothing more than that.
Thanks Jenna. Yeah, a lot is concern about the weight I've lost or when I don't join for a meal
But there are comments about how healthily I eat which make me feel super guilty because I should set an example. I think I might talk to my boss if she asks if I've lost weight but ask her to keep it quiet and reassure her that I am getting help and am strong enough to do my work
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
I think I'll speak to my boss if weight comes up. Lol Carmen, as much as I hate passive aggressive that's hilarious
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn