Triggering (SI/Suicide) - *HELP URGENTLY NEEDED *Messed up my head big style

**kleechy** · 16-08-2008, 10:09 PM

Omg someone on here has messed up my head so so much, i cant take it when i was going home yesterday someone told me that they was gona kill themself , i was kina drunk and i was screaming as the train pulled off, i was hysrerical, the train woman came and sorted me out and got the polioce onto it. eventually when i got home after 4 hours or worrie and the police contatantly calling me they found her, and she was fine there was no signs of self harm and she wasnt a danger to herself, she was ok they said she wasnt at risk of sucicide of sh.so she was left at home as she was.
shes been calling me ever since and saying stuff like i cant thank you for everything you did last night i'm not used to someone caring about me.
stuff like i was put on a police 136 (tempory section) and now she is under the care of a crisis team, the thing is i know she is lying because the police have told me everything and i know this aint good but i had a friend who is a copper check it out too and i know she is lying i dont know how she can lie to someone like that its really bad she can lie so easily about some thing so so very bad like that .

Anyway all this has triggered me , like big style, and it made me think about how much i want to actuallly do it so much ,i somehow managed to get it out of my head . but now it is back more than ever the thing is my family are away at the moment and there is nothing to stop me doing any thing . I'm scared , i dont want to do it deep deep down cuz i know it will hurt the people around me who care about me and love me . but i need to i have to its such a perfect oppourtunity to do it..
i could just go to london noone could see me do it it'd be so so easy ,
i need someone to talk me out of this , ive got the money to get to london could get there so so easily

Sometimes Crazy · 16-08-2008, 10:57 PM

If I read right, you met them on here? If so, please speak to the moderators/Harley as soon as possible, honey.

I can see how distressing this would have been for you, love. Take some time to just recover from the shock and hurt of it all. Please don't let someone else's actions drive you to suicide - you are worth so much more. Is this the only reason you want to do this, sweetheart? Or has it given you an "idea"? I'm sorry you've been affected like this. Stay safe,

xx

**kleechy** · 16-08-2008, 11:58 PM

i cant talk to them about it i'd feel bad .. real bad if i reported it , they need ryl , as much as i need it , idk what to do :(

Porcelain Child · 17-08-2008, 02:03 AM

I heard about this... and i advised that person to tell you to contact the mods... i really think you need to tell the mods...

If she is lieing she could be doing it to other people.... and messing up other people heads...

Even thought you want and you are having thoughts about SU.. doesn't mean you have to carry it out hun.. can you perhaps try and get some help.. can you talk to someone and try and get some support tell them what is happening for you right now...

I hope things get easier for you...

*squishes*

Claire...

**kleechy** · 17-08-2008, 02:10 AM

yea i know , think i ok .. i spoke to social worker . so idk

Porcelain Child · 17-08-2008, 02:17 AM

Did it help to talk to your social worker hun?

PM me if you need to..

*squishes*

Claire...

**kleechy** · 17-08-2008, 03:50 AM

nope it didnt help at all , i wouldnt tel her my adress and she said she wanted either me to call the police
or she'd cal them

**kleechy** · 19-08-2008, 03:12 AM

i od'd last on sunday and passed out in the centre of london, i was so so ill , i had no idea what was goin on . i'm scared i want to do it again

falling tears · 19-08-2008, 10:44 AM

oh no, you cant die, please you cant do this to yourself. there are so many people rooting for you.

you will get through this and i am so sorry that you got so triggered.

i really hope that you are getting help by proffesionals and i would really like it if you could see your Gp or therapist asap.

you cant die... there is a good life waiting for you, and you will get there.

please go seek some help, as you are in a desperate place right now and we dont want to see you in so much pain.

please take care and keep strong, you do not deserve to feel like this and please Pm me whenever. we are here for you.

lots of love jen

X_rag_doll_X · 19-08-2008, 01:27 PM

this is awful, how dare somebody upset you like this, as if youre not going through enough! i know its easier said than done, but please try not to get too worked up about it, this person is obviously a very selfish attention seeker to do this to a kind caring person like you + isn't worth your time or friendship. hopefully one day they won't ever be in any serious danger, boy who cried wolf...
please message me if you need to talk, i'm here for you hun xxx

**kleechy** · 19-08-2008, 05:12 PM

i've done it again i dont know how long it'll take for me to pass out but i sure it wont be long i'm sorry guys ily all loads..

Sleepless123 · 19-08-2008, 06:28 PM

Hey ive just logged into RYL because im very worried about you.Please go to somewhere where you can get help.Like a hospital or something.i know its hard but you really need to.Also i faced a similar situation to you on a different forum.It has effected me so so much to this day but it does get easier.Please keep talking on here.We do care.And also if you ever need a friend feel free to PM me.i would like to be there for you to offer support.

**kleechy** · 19-08-2008, 06:31 PM

i'm still feelin ok.. kina

snowflake · 19-08-2008, 06:41 PM

I'm sorry you had to go through all that but you can beat this. It will get easier so please keep holding on.

please go to a hospital so you can get help. Even if you are still feeling ok you should still go to the hospital to get checked out.I'm sorry you had to go through all or that but stay strong.

Zashi xx

Scarlet Angel · 19-08-2008, 09:12 PM

Hope you can get some help hun. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, if you ever want to chat, PM me.
*hugs*
Kel xx