Gender-queer?

[LozzyGirl]

Hey, this is kinda random but it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately.
I don't seem to identify myself with either gender.
I am biologically female. I am also a lesbian.
I am not transgender, I don't identify myself as male. But I don't identify myself as female either. Sometimes I'll be girly, and like girly things, other times they're just.. not me. I tend to switch between the two.
I researched this (Because having more information always makes me feel better) and it came up with gender-queer.
I just wanted others opinions? Am I gender-queer, or could this just be a part of my BPD? I don't mind either way, I am who I am, I just like to know.
Wouldn't it be better to term it as gender-neutral though? Meh.. lol

[Bellatrix]

Thought it was 'normal' to be like this.
I know I am and always have been

[Ninja Orange]

I can't relate, but I just wanted to say that the whole gender queer, transgender, and all these names/labels, people came up with those because they didn't agree with sticking to labels established by society. Following that, I think it's perfectly logical to call yourself gender-neutral or whatever fits best, it doesn't need to necessarily already exist.

[LozzyGirl]

Bellatrix - Well I'm not sure how many people feel this way, but I spoke to my friends about it today and they all identify themselves as either male/female. But they understand where I'm coming from when I say I don't identify with either. I guess they can sort of see it it me lol. I don't think it's such a big deal, but I just tend to like to know these things about myself.

Ninja Orange - I know what you mean about labels. Some labels I don't like, like the whole 'emo' thing when it comes to self-harm ect. But when it's labels like this which I don't think are offensive to anyone (Personal opinion, others might think differently) I don't mind.

[sunshine100]

I'm definitely a straight girl; I have days where I'll be girly and dress up
...But I'm also an archaeologist so live in an anorak digging in the mud.
So I think of it as normal!

As well as this my housemate last year was a lesbian (with no SH etc problems) and she had girly and boy phases. She was very open about whether she wanted to be the 'boy' her that day or not. Maybe it's just how we work as people!

[beautiful_seclusion]

I definitely feel like that. As far as the labels, I agree that they are just names people have put to things and don't mean any more than you want them to mean. I think generally gender queer is when you kinda identify with both but also with neither. And gender neutral is more identifying with neither. So pretty similarly and used interchangeably from what I've read. I actually looked it up for the same reasons as you.

But I don't think it has anything to do with mental illness. I know I definitely feel that this is how I am, and I don't have BPD. I'm also in a heterosexual relationship, although attracted to both sexes. I tend to dress fairly androgynous, although there have been times when I dressed more feminine. I also do not think like almost the majority of women. I think more closely to how men seem to but not quite; I'll occasionally find people who think like me and it seems like it's just something outside of what society considers typically male or female. I also like activities that are not historically feminine much more than those that are considered feminine. But like you I definitely don't see myself as the opposite gender as a transgender person would. So in other words it's complicated and I think that should be ok. I think of it as making me very unique although it is sometimes difficult. I know of no one who I would think would understand were I to try to explain it, and that can be frustrating. So you're not alone and I don't believe it's any sort of disorder or illness. I totally relate too with being helped by having more information/understanding things.

I think that really female and male are only useful in identifying a biological phenomenon, nothing to do with what's in your mind. However people are only now realizing this because it's been engrained in people for so long that they must be one or the other. I imagine there have always been "gender queer" people, but they forced themselves to act a certain way simply because they had to in society. So you're not alone!