I really need help. I've been struggling with cutting for awhile. I stopped for a few years but ive started again and cant stop. I told my mom and she said shed get me help but she hasnt. Im really scared. Once i start i cant stop. I have to literally force myself to stop. Please help me. I have no one to talk to. No one will listen.
Hey hun. I'll listen. send me a pm, reply on here, or send me an e-mail. e-mail is most reliable because I check it pretty much everyday..but i have it set up so I'll receive a notice about the pm or subscripted posts.
Take care. Maybe try finding a psychologist in your area and give them a call since your mom hasn't been getting help for you?
*HUGS*
I can fly, I can fly among the clouds
All I need are a pair of wings,
outside help, and a little faith
You are valuable, don't let anyone tell you differently.
Love Gives Me Hope
I'm so sorry you're in this position right now. First of all, you giving up for years is absolutely amazing, and is proof enough that you can do this again. It's going to be tough, but generally speaking, a person hits their lowest point before they rise out of it again. Is there any way you could speak to your mum about this again? It sounds like you're really desperate for help, which I can totally understand. If she doesn't respond, then maybe you could take a trip to the doctors and see if they can get you on a waiting list of counselling and/or help assess your needs with regards to what might be causing this.
Remember we are always here for you. This is a support system, and if you feel you need to talk/rant/ask anything, then you can. As the above poster has already said, you can also PM me if you like. Take care of yourself and remember, you can do this. You're a fighter and you are worth the recovery. xx
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
Ive tried. They say they cant help me because i dont have insurance. Im on the edge of falling and im scared. I want to show my mom the most recent scars but she'll just use it as a way to get herself attention the last time i tried to slit my wrists she took me to the er and made it all about herself all i heard for over a hour was "shes just so difficult to live with, shes horrible, shes lazy, i dont know why she does this she has everything she wants. She lays around all day and sleeps and im sick and tired of it. She needs to grow up and stop." this comes from my mother who lays in bed most of the day. Her saying all this made me want to claw away at my arms. All the doctor would say is "im so sorry you have such a difficult daughter, you poor thing." etc etc. I work nights so yes i sleep all day. but i keep the house spotless. Ive basically raised myself and my mother. The one thing that sent me back into SI was when my mom oded. She yells and screams at me for SI and she tries to end it. She treats me like im nothing. IM so scared. I want to get help i want to show someone but all that will happen is ill be committed and ill lose my job. What do i do. Im so scared.
I'm sorry I'm not completely aware of the US medical system.
Do you feel maybe you could approach your mum again about this? She doesn't sound like she understands you and your feelings very well, and I'm so sorry she reacted in such a horrible way. She might be struggling herself, but it is not an excuse to turn around and talk about you in such a nasty way. When at the hospital, did you have a chance to talk to any of the doctors yourself?
Between you and your mum, it sounds like there is a major lack of communication. I can understand how scary it is to open up about such deep feelings, but ultimately, the only way someone will begin to understand, is if they're given a chance to listen. It works both ways, and likewise, the only way you can talk, is if you're given an opportunity to. It's easy to sit back and wish a savior will come along and take all of this pain and misery away, I know that as I waited for years myself. But I realised in the end that the only person who could take control of this, was me. I couldn't do it myself, I needed to open up to certain people before I could do that. Maybe the best way for you and your mum to suitably discuss this, would be to calmly ask her if you could have a mother-daughter chat with her. Sit down with her, and say to her you understand how difficult it must be for her to see what's going on, but you want her to begin to understand. If your mum is struggling, it would seem more ideal that she could support you in response to her own understanding, rather than bounce off of you and move even further away.
I'm sorry, does any of this make sense? Your mum says she will get you help, so ultimately, you're going to have to try and push that help. Tell her that you're exhausted from working nights, and she has to try and see outside of her own box. Even if she doesn't understand, all you need is that initial step to be made. Tell her she doesn't need to understand, just that you need the help before you can even begin to explain yourself properly. Sometimes being pro-active, as frustrating as it may seem, is the only way to get something out of the other end.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
Hey,
Is there someplace you can live other than with your mom? The doctors should be taking care of you, not focusing on her. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be such a bad thing to be committed..I mean yes, it would mean losing a job, but at the same time if you went in wanting recovery, it'd probably mean healing as well. when I say "you" in that case, I'm not just meaning you, gabby, I'm meaning anyone.
Getting away from your mom would probably be good for you. It'd be difficult, but maybe she'd realize how much you do. Also, you'd get away from the instability and stress of being there. Just a thought though.
I do agree with pixiedust in that if you can have a talk with your mom, it would be good. Maybe she would then find a way to get you the help that you need and deserve?
Take care. *HUGS*
I can fly, I can fly among the clouds
All I need are a pair of wings,
outside help, and a little faith
You are valuable, don't let anyone tell you differently.
Love Gives Me Hope
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Try to relax for now and look after yourself. What is it that's making you feel guilty at the moment? x
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
