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Old 04-08-2014, 09:58 AM   #1
ennae
 
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Worrying

Not sure the title really explains this but I find myself worrying about criticisms people make about other people and that they think the same thing about me but are too polite to say it. So at work any time someone remarks on how someone else hasn't done something well enough I automatically start examining what I have done in case they are thinking the same about me. I feel like I am in a constant state of worry but no one has actually criticised me for anything. Even when people reassure me that I'm doing ok I still feel really bad and anxious when I hear about other people's mistakes etc. It is especially hard at the moment because someone I am working with is getting quite a lot of criticism (often rightly so) and it makes me panic every time I hear any of it. I know I am doing a better job than she is - I have been doing the job longer and have not had any complaints etc so why am I worrying so much. Unfortunately my worrying is one of the main things that leads to SH and at the moment my head is just spinning. Sorry for such a long, rambling post.

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Old 04-08-2014, 12:08 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
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If I thought both person A and person B were doing a certain thing wrong, I would avoid mentioning what person A was doing wrong in front of person B, if that makes sense? So, if they thought you were also making the same mistake, they wouldn't tell you about the other person making that mistake, as it would feel a bit awkward. So the fact that they're mentioning it in front of you suggests that you're doing it right.

If they thought you were doing something wrong then they would speak to you about it directly and help you to improve it. And the fact that they're not doing so, suggests again that you're doing it right.

And even if you were making some mistake or other, that wouldn't be the end of the world and wouldn't be anything to feel bad about- everyone makes mistakes!

It really does sound like you're a very good and conscientious worker. It's good to be a tiny bit worried about making mistakes, as it helps you focus on doing a great job, but it sounds like you're worrying an awful lot more than that! Would it help to just repeat the logical things you know (i.e. you're not getting any complaints, you're doing a great job, if there was a problem they'd tell you) when the worrying gets out of hand?



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Old 04-08-2014, 03:44 PM   #3
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Hey there,

I agree with Jenna, if you were making the same mistake, very few people would mention someone else making that mistake in front of you. Perhaps you could ask this person if there's anything they think you could improve on work wise? It would put your mind at rest because it would give them the chance to mention any mistake if you have been making any (which I doubt you have).

I used to worry like this a lot about work, and it was one of my reasons for having a breakdown - one thing I've leant since is that everyone makes mistakes (even if someone seems flawless) and it's never the end of the world. Any mistake can be rectified and it's a useful way to improve your skills.

I often found it helpful at work to write a list of positive things customers/staff said about my work/skills etc and keep it with me, so if I did start worrying I could read through it and feel calmer.

Take care,

x x x



It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...


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Old 05-08-2014, 10:46 AM   #4
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Thanks Jenna and Katie. I guess I am over thinking things and worrying unnecessarily. I did ask someone I trusted about what I do badly / need to improve but she really didn't say anything. I should be happy about that but I must admit it makes me worried that she is just being too nice. I think I would like her to tell me one thing I need to improve on so that then I would know she was willing to be honest and only one thing wouldn't be too overwhelming. I know this sounds pretty crazy.

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Old 05-08-2014, 12:27 PM   #5
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Hey,

It's good you were able to ask someone; although I can understand the feeling of thinking they are just being too polite. I often feel this way with my boyfriend when I ask if he's happy with me/in the relationship etc.

It might very well be that you aren't doing anything wrong, but I know it's a hard mindset to get out of.

It doesn't sound crazy, I think a lot of people understand how you're feeling, I sure do.

x x x



It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...


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Old 06-08-2014, 12:11 PM   #6
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Thanks Katie. It is nice to know I am not the only one - although I'm sorry to hear that you worry as much as I do.

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Old 07-08-2014, 11:06 PM   #7
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Do you think it would help to write down all your thoughts and worries, or to talk about them more? Sometimes it helps to talk about these things.



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No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
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We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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