How to deal with this, I miss my mom

maviles · 27-03-2018, 08:12 PM

Well, the love of my life, my best friend, my little mother gone.

She always had problems to eat, so after a long time, the doctor diagnosed her with hyperesophagus II that is the begin of this disease, so she decided to do a simple surgery, heller's myotomy, but after the surgery, she got a infection, that evoluted to a sepsis, and after a sepsis chock .

Well, she work since she was 15yo and gone(48yo) and my dad had a lot of plans, to start working less and enjoy the life, we would move to other the house, that she choose, and thought all details for 5 years.She would see the results of the work after this surgery.
The life wasn't fair with her, she worked so much, too much, and we was just waiting this simple surgery to change our lives. Im crying everyday after she's gone.i consider my self so much young to lose my mother(21yo). Now its just me, my brother and my Dad. Sometimes i can't sleep and can't eat. I don't feel pleasure to do the things that i use to like.Sometimes I feel that my life doesn't have any sense. I just would like to give one more hug and kiss on her, apologize everything that we fall out. I could give anything for that.

My dad has a little company, where he worked just with my mother, for 30 years, i feel so much for him, sometimes, i feel more for him than for myself.They was always in line. Always working together.

The pain that i feel, is something that i never seen before, there are moments of fear and cry during the day that i just can't control.
This pain is consuming me.

Sometimes I see whatsapp audios, photos and videos of my momma, and i miss her, even more.

I just would like to good-bye and thanks for everything.I didn't deserve my mom, she was so good for me.

I'm don't believe in afterlife, and now its the first time that a really hope, that im wrong, i just want one more kiss and a hug.

Mother, you will be eternal for me

I posted this in some other foruns, like reddit and webhealing, so i will post here too, i would like some advice, i have periods of the day that i remember her so much, and its hard.

English isn't my native language so, please sorry for mistakes.

Pi.R^2 · 01-04-2018, 08:23 AM

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Perhaps you could write your mother a letter, saying all the things that you would like to say to her. Even though you can't give it to her, just getting all your feelings out onto a page could be quite therapeutic.

Something else that people often find helpful is making a memory box or book of photos, letters and other items so that from time to time you can get it out and look through all your favourite memories of your mother.