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Old 18-08-2016, 06:25 AM   #1
indigorose
 
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Contains bullying - How to deal with a stalker?

I have a stalker. He is someone I used to talk to on fb but he became very creepy and I got a bad vibe from him so I blocked him.

Since then (early 2015) he has stalked me. he's even shown up at my university before to find me (I had to hide in a bathroom at university for 4 hours until i could call security to take me to my mums car). He's never met me in person. He's harassed me online for months but I haven't heard of him lately.

However, I still feel on edge and i'm worried that since he is a member of my university's gaming club (despite not being a student), that he will show up again.

What should I do? Also, can't get restraining orders in my state unless there was some sort of domestic relationship :(





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Old 18-08-2016, 09:43 AM   #2
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Aside from blocking him print out a copy of the Facebook communication. There would be someone on campus to speak to. For example he may give a valid reason for being on campus but harassment probably still has to be documented and investigated by Uni because you pay to have a safe learning environment. Did you explain to security why you felt you needed escorting to car? Get a formal report from them and find out who you can report it to next. Tell your friends, family and keep a log of when and where you see him on and off campus.
Make sure you are not putting identifying things on Facebook like events you will be at or current locations.
It may not be a restraining order but documentation and reporting it is really important.
In my case more recently the police had to issue a warning for the person to stay away.





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Old 18-08-2016, 01:09 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Epic View Post
You should log EVERYTHING. You should probably make the uni and the gaming club that he has joined.

Try, within what is reasonable and safe, to refrain from changing your patterns.

A change in pattern in response to stalking signals to the stalker that you have "noticed" them, and can cause an escalation in their behaviour.
Secondly, if you become less visible to them, they can get more obsessed with seeking you out, and rock up on your doorstep or something similarly alarming.

For example, I had a mild stalker who used to watch me and take photos of from his flat across the street. I *think* he followed me a couple of times, but never made contact. My friends all suggested getting blinds, but I knew instinctively that that would only draw him upon me.
Eventually he got bored and I thought he'd moved away. YEARS later I was struggling with a window one afternoon that had been painted closed from the outside. During the painting, there had been scaffolding up, so my blinds had been closed for about four months. Next thing, I hear someone yelling "helloooo" from across the road, and there he was leaning out of his window. He introduced himself, and offered to come over and help. I was friendly and thanked him, and said I had to go out but that I'd come ring his bell later if I couldn't manage. That way I had his flat number and he didn't have mine (I hope!).

I realise your person is considerably more creepy than mine probably was, but so long as he isn't coming closer, you are probably gonna be ok.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bitomato View Post
Aside from blocking him print out a copy of the Facebook communication. There would be someone on campus to speak to. For example he may give a valid reason for being on campus but harassment probably still has to be documented and investigated by Uni because you pay to have a safe learning environment. Did you explain to security why you felt you needed escorting to car? Get a formal report from them and find out who you can report it to next. Tell your friends, family and keep a log of when and where you see him on and off campus.
Make sure you are not putting identifying things on Facebook like events you will be at or current locations.
It may not be a restraining order but documentation and reporting it is really important.
In my case more recently the police had to issue a warning for the person to stay away.
Never thought of that. I had to delete facebook because I felt too unsafe months ago. I will certainly be taking your advice!!





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Old 19-08-2016, 12:09 AM   #4
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You could approach the police and as if there is a case for harassment if so he could be legally bound to stay away from you



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