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Old 19-05-2012, 02:36 AM   #1
cyanidesymphony
 
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Relapsed, feeling really guilty.

So after 6 years of recovery, I have relapsed twice in the last 4 months. I feel guilty and sick now, like I've betrayed the important people
I made promises to. I just don't know what else to do, I feel lost, empty, and alone. I've tried every sort of alternative method I could think of but nothing felt like it helped as much as this did. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Old 19-05-2012, 04:53 AM   #2
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You made it 6 years...that's great! you should be proud of that! Slip ups happen. Cutting is an addiction, even after 6 years there are still triggers. I want you to focus on what you had said, "I've tried every sort of alternative method I could think of" You didn't just give in...you fought the battle. You tried everything you could think of. Sometimes we don't win each battle....but we will win the war! hang in there. You can't erase the past and what you did, but you can look forward and if you had gone six years..you can go another six!

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Old 19-05-2012, 05:05 AM   #3
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Thank you, it was after a major battle with self-harm and suicide attempts. Some days it just seems so hard, like I'm fighting a losing battle though. I know I should know better but some days it just feels like I've lost all hope. And sadly none of my friends really understand why I do it, like there should be something else I can do instead.

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Old 19-05-2012, 09:35 PM   #4
talaiporia
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Do you know why you slipped up those two times?
Relapsing is horrible, but like Lynn said, 6 years is amazing. And you know, two slips doesn't take that away, it is still amazing.

Have you managed to get your SH under control at the moment?



It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


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Old 19-05-2012, 11:14 PM   #5
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Congratulations on six years.
Wishing you the best for another six.

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Old 19-05-2012, 11:41 PM   #6
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I do, I think its really childish but I've been feeling really lost and alone, most of my friends are moving away from me and they are one of the most important things in my life. That and I'm still struggling to deal with my uncles passing close to Christmas last year since he took his own life. Also my home life isn't anywhere as happy as I would like, my mother is constantly yelling at me and my family for one thing or another and she recently found out her liver is failing due to malnutrition. But yes so far I'm keeping it under control, it gets harder late at night when I have a chance to let my mind wander.

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Old 20-05-2012, 03:51 AM   #7
ReleaseTheory
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First of all, congratulations on 6 years. Second of all, congratulations on only relapsing twice in four months after that long of a time away from SI. That in itself is a HUGE accomplishment!

My only advice to you is that you need to first and foremost forgive yourself. Things happen. You made a mistake. You can't take it back.
Second, I know for me, I can't promise people things in relation to my SI. Because if I screw up, it's always 100x worse just because of the guilt factor, and then I end up messing up again. So if you HAVE to promise anything, promise that you'll do your best to not hurt yourself and that you'll be safe.

If you're in the US and you want someone to talk to, PM me and I'll send you my cell number.

-Kris

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Old 20-05-2012, 04:18 AM   #8
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I'm starting to believe that too when 2 of my closest friends found out they both were very angry and upset with me, which I understand but I already felt bad enough, and I came to them telling them in seek of comfort instead all I got was them telling me how disappointed they were in me.

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Old 09-06-2012, 07:00 AM   #9
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I just wanted to thank everyone on this thread, you all have given me so much encouragement and help and I really appreciate it. I've been working on recovering day by day and am also looking into counseling. My doctor also recommended to my mother that we have family counseling which I am also for. But really I just wanted to say thank you to each of you.

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