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Old 15-07-2016, 11:57 PM   #1
lucasgreen
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Contains bullying - Facing Bullying 14 Years Later

Hi guys, this is my first post here, so thank you for reading. Coincidentally, it is also the first time that I am addressing the fact that I was bullied for more than a decade throughout secondary school by a particular 'friend' and others in the group.

As someone that was new to any concept of a friend group I quickly found myself at the mercy of a leader of friends who, over the course of my entire school period, encouraged people to exclude me, physically oppressed me and systematically made me feel worthless through all imaginable forms of exclusion, abuse and psychological games. The worst part perhaps was that this group contains someone I am still friends with, and who also sat through it all, even joining in at times in my abuse.

This is really the first time I have thought about this, and pinpointed it as a reason for so many of my mental issues in recent years, like anxiety, panic attacks and a general feeling of worthlessness. Especially damaging was the fact that I felt ashamed to express emotions, for fear of being mocked, and I generally thought I was a needy person that should puck up and do things alone to get respect.

How wrong I was. I feel my life is shifting now that I am uncovering this, and I am sure people here have felt the same. I would love to know about how you BEGAN to deal with such issues, and what first steps you took. Some questions facing me now are, should I even bring this up with my old friend im still in touch with? should I even still speak to him? how can i rebuild my personality and sense of confidence? The list goes on.

Anyway, i'm just looking for a friendly voice and some success stories. Anyone willing to talk I would love to engage with. Thanks for hearing my story.

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Old 27-07-2016, 08:52 PM   #2
ThePhoenixFallacy
 
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I haven't experienced this at all, but it sounds like what I saw in the group that my ex was friends with for all of secondary school. They would ridicule him, and seemed from my outside view to feel that he was only good for maths answers.

I don't really know what to do or how to deal with it, but in general admitting that there is/was a problem and that it affects you is a good place to start and that seems to be something you've already done.

Whether you bring it up with your friend is really up to you. You might want to think about if you feel like it would help you to do so and you would get more potential good out of it than harm?

When rebuilding a personality, it's hard. It took me many months of journalling, talking to people, therapy and trying new things (and then sticking with them). Even with all that, it was gradual for me, and there was a lot of accepting parts of myself and my experiences which is still ongoing.

Ash x



Call me Ash :)

"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" -Albus Dumbledore

This is not a part of me. This is a part of what is happening to me.

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