Keep going, lovely YOU CAN do this, please please, try your very very best to not discharge yourself, I now its difficult when you just want to shut something up.
Its understandable why you feel the way you do, love.
Just please try hold on, get through a little more, try and talk to one of the people supervising, if anything.
xxx
thankyou so much everyone for your replies I appreciate it so much.
I ended up talking to the nurse last night and had some PRN and distraction which did help, just didnt sleep properly and feeling pretty low and worked up because of it.
Am still struggling a lot, and feel like I shouldn't be in here, like I'm not sick enough or worthy of help. But I promised my psych I wouldnt discharge myself until I see my psych (tomorrow), so I guess I have to stay because I don't break promises.
I also promised that I wouldn't SI which is driving me insane, plus the fact that if I do I will be discharged. Sorry if I've already written this not in a good headspace at the moment.
I know how you feel, but please try to value yourself..life is so precious & so are you!!
Well done on eating it, your body needs the food to survive & get the vital nutrients it needs to run
Like a car needs petrol to run, a person needs food to live..
Tbh I only ate it because if I didnt I would have to have an Ensure... but at least I ate it I guess?
Thing is I completely agree with what you're saying, when I'm talking about someone else, but when it comes to me I just can't see that, and I dont know how to make myself see it.
Katies right,
she always is(shes my smart friend) :p
Im really proud you ate breakfast, I know its difficult but you need to try keep a clear mind, because if it gets all fuzzy your mine will just play games with you & your ed will try take over.
Feeling really low right now, thinking I might try and have a sleep or something to try and escape the screaming in my head, I dont know what else to do.
I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up with everything better, it's like I want a white knight to come in and magically fix all my problems or something because I dont feel like I can do it myself, I dont feel strong enough at all. I feel like crying but I'm just numb right now, I dont have any hope. Then I get angry at myself for wallowing in self pity, then I feel worse... it's an endless cycle and I dont know how to get out of it.
Hi hun *hugs lots* I'm so sorry things are so tough right now but I am SO proud of you for going to hosp. I can only imagine how hard it must be but I hope you stay.
You mentioned how you feel stuck in the cycle and how you can't seem to get out of it. You're already doing something to get out of it though. It may seem like you're not getting anywhere but I think that if you stick it out you'll find that you will improve more than you think you will.
I wish I could make everything better for you.. You are doing it yourself though and you are strong. You admitted yourself to hospital and have stayed there even though you've been tempted to leave. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to do that. You've taken huge steps forward just by doing that.
I know you're finding it hard to see those positives but I hope that seeing them written down will help. Beyond what I've written I'm not really sure what else to say, everyone else has already written it for me.
I love you lots and I really hope you're feeling stronger and better soon.
*cuddles lots and lots*
xoxoxo
I feel like I'm just sitting here moaning, but I guess the fact is that I'm not doing well, or I dont feel like I am, I feel totally miserable.
Was in tears over dinner and for quite awhile after, then managed to have a sleep because I had some PRN because I didnt feel safe, but didnt feel any better when I woke up. I've just requested some more PRN because my head is going absolutely crazy and I dont know how else to manage it right now.
It's just like I'm stuck in this massive dark hole and I can't see any way out of it. They keep telling me it will get easier, but it's not and to be honest I can't see it getting easier.
Then I get mad at myself for thinking negatively, so I feel even worse about myself. GAAH I'M SO STUCK!!! This just seems like a never ending cycle, and though people are telling me that this will help me to get out of it I just can't see it happening.
I'm sorry that I'm so weak and negative and stupid and any other foul name you can come up with, I really am. I don't deserve your support, I should just delete this thread and keep my mouth shut
DON'T DELETE THE THREAD!!
You need help and you more than definitely deserve the support that you're getting. If you want to get better you need support so I really hope you keep this thread going.
You're not weak, you're still in hosp aren't you? It takes a lot of strength to say in when you don't have to. Do you need to stay in? I think you do. Do you deserve to? Absolutely!
It's your illness that's making you feel like it's never going to end. The part of you that wants to get better knows that. And you know that it's going to take a while before you personally start to see that you're getting better. You're going to be harder on yourself than what others will be so it's going to take time to see results but you can stick it out. You do have the strength, even if you don't know it. *cuddles lots*
*Cuddles* You should be so proud of yourself, it takes alot of strength to admit yourself into hospital and then continue to stay there even through you want to leave. Honestly hun you do deserve this help, you will get through this. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
I'm going to quote you because the same thing you have told others goes for you also.
Quote:
You are NOT a failure, you are beautiful sweet and kind and so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just please please hang in there, things can get better and they will. I know you can't believe me right now but please try? I have a lot of faith in you that you can beat this. Keep fighting lovely xxx
I know it's extremely hard right now with your head screaming at you to leave and go home but you have to stick this hospital stay out to be able to get better. You aren't any of those names you are calling yourself. You can beat this ED and the thing in your head, everyone who loves you knows you can do it.
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