I'm really confused & I dunno how to handle this situation...
I haven't been with my boyfriend for long and to be honest I've only had another previous to him. The last one didn't last long, a few weeks - basically he realised he wasn't going to get sex out of me as soon as he wanted. I'm pretty sure we only kissed twice.... I'm not comfortable with kissing or touching, it brings back memories of past sexual abuse which makes it impossible for me to do those things without feeling gross.
So I stayed at my current boyfriends house last night, we get along really well, he is sweet and very understanding about the fact I have medical issues along with the fact I'm 'shy' when it comes to being romantic... I feel terrible though because I avoided him kissing or touching me. I gave him a kiss on the lips before I went home but that's it and even that was traumatic for me!
I feel so stupid, how am I meant to maintain a relationship when even basic affections freak me out! I don't want to tell him about that part of my life yet either... I just feel so incredibly stupid that the most basic thing in a relationship is so damn hard for me