This is going to sound stupid...

[BlueB]

Is there any way that I can be admitted to hospital without doing something stupid?!

Believe me,I know that hospital is not a walk in the park,all in all I've had 13 admissions to various places for anorexia so I'm not thinking of it as an easy way out...I just really can't cope at home right now and I don't know what to do.I feel like I need a rest,a break for even like 2 weeks just to keep me from having to constantly fight against the urges to harm myself I'm having and everything else going on.

I'm struggling with PTSD right now after finally admitting I was sexually abused as a child.I'm self harming more and my mood has completely plummeted.My OCD is coming back with a vengance and it all feels too much.I'm scared of everything....going out and being around people,going to sleep at night,life in general.I'm trying to hold on but I'm so close to giving up.

My therapist knows how suicidal I'm feeling but he doesn't seem to be that bothered about it which hurts.I've told him about the plans I have to take my own life and he just lets me walk out of the session each week.I feel like I need more support right now than a 1 hour a week session.

The thing is I'm really reluctant to ask about being admitted to hospital.One I think he will just think I'm exaggerating about how bad I feel and just laugh at the suggestion,two I don't know where they would put me because as my BMI is about 16 it wouldn't be low enough for an ED unit I'm sure and three,I'm not sure if I'm ready for my mum to find out what's going on.

I have no idea what else to do because I'm seriously considering taking an overdose of something just to get admitted which is a dumb idea I know.

[flippinterp]

Different emergency rooms operate differently when it comes to mental health. At one hospital, all it took for me to get admitted was me saying that I wanted to self-harm- I hadn't actually done anything. At a different hospital, I had already cut pretty deeply and needed stitches, but they didn't think I needed to be put in the psych ward. In your situation, it couldn't hurt to go and explain the situation, how one part of you wants to self-destruct and the other part wants to be safe.

This may sound like a morbid question, but have you told your therapist when you plan to kill yourself? Not just how, but when? Has he/she asked? It's possible that your therapist just isn't worried about it RIGHT NOW, and wants to focus on other deeper issues.

[Stress Free Anxiety]

As I'm in the US, I'm not sure on how things run where you're at. What I do know is that here you can talk with your regular doctor about such problems and thoughts, who can then refer you for an assessment or aid you in placing yourself in a treatment program. Do you (or anyone else) know if this is an option for you?

[idontwantnomorescars]

tell the hospital exactly what you have told us here. im glad you are wanting to get help before things get out of control again. if you dont feel like your therapist is taking you seriously enough find a new one that you trust and will take you seriously.
i think you need to talk to your mum about whats going on she will only want to help you, she would rather know now than when its gotten worse and out of control again. she can perhaps help you get admitted to hospital if its the both of you talking together to the hospital and they may take it more seriously because your mum is an adult.

[Stellata]

I have PTSD too, and understand how distressing and difficult it can be. It can help to talk about what's happening for you. Could you maybe talk with your doctor about getting prescribed some medication to help relieve the worst of what you're going through?

[BlueB]

Thanks for the replies...thinking about it overnight,I think I have realised that I haven't really told my therapist any details of what I've been planning or this voice I have in my head telling me to do that.I think maybe he thinks that my suicidal feelings are connected with depression right now and it is just me talking from a sense of despair.

I don't have a crisis team,just my therapist so he is the obly person I can talk too about things.I'm going to try to explain when I see him next how I've been feeling.It's weird part of me really wants to be admitted somewhere and get all this out but the other part is so scared to tell the truth because of what might happen.

What do I do if I tell my therapist everything and still nothing happens?