Sorry sorry sorry for keep posting here. Im so annoying, i know it, but i need your help and advice once again. If im bothering you please tell me.
Well as shellz1986 had made a post here about her obssession with her GP, and if anyone with BPD has obssessions like this, i had replied that for a period of time i was kinda obssessed with my mom, i mean i was sure she would die and that it would be the last time i ever saw her and that she would leave me. Well i noticed today that im obssessed, like shellz1986, with other 2 people. i started being obssessed with them when they showed me that they care about me so much. They aren't close people to me, the one is a teacher and the other is a lady at a store. They both showed me they care about me and i like them really much. I used to like the teacher and before, but when she was mad at me i hated her and now that she cares about me,i love her. I don't know why it happens. It only happens with women, why is that? does it mean im a lesbian??
omg, whats wrong with me??i haven't been diagnosed with bpd.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
Oh, I'm exactly the same hun, I haven't been diagnosed with anything though...sorry no help I know...
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its ok hun. just knowing that im not alone in this, is help!
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
I have just read over this, and i neer knew that something liek this excided (sp)! I always thought it was just me..When someone goes away orlike I don't talk to them anymore I always morun them like they are dead but they really aren't. Like I am obseed with seeing my consllour and dcotor like when I see them it I sometimes make up things just to see them again. Maybe I want attentiopn I don't know and it drives me nuts. Sorry its hard to explain
thanks!! i will try talking to my doctor about it. i told my therapist, but she didn't say anything.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
i saw the teacher im obsessed with today. she almost hugged me. i started thinking about her again now. everytime i see her, it happens. its like im in love with her. i feel like a lesbian, only that i don't see her sexually, i can't really explain it. its so annoying. i can't stop thinking about her now.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
I think it happens to everyone.
I was obsessed with a girl.
she ended up being my girlfriend
but the weird thing was i was obsessed with her way before she knew me.
I would wait all day to talk to her online and she didnt even know my name.
i think everyone has someone like this. someone they love as a friend or more.
x If there was a hole deep enough I would climb in. If there were drugs that could obliterate all, I would take them until all was obliterated. I I am broken into a million little pieces. x
wow, I thought I was the only person who thoguht like this, but now I know that I'm not. THANKS!
I'm obesessed with people leaving, if I'm going home or going anywhere really, I have to make sure that I thank people and say goodbye to them just incase I don't ever see them again. the likelihood of that actually happening is very minimal but I still have to do it. if I do leave without saying goodbye, I stress about it and will often go back or contact them again just to say goodbye.
" I wake up feeling convicted, / I know something's not right / Re-acquaint my knees with the carpet //
They've been swimming in the wrong waters / Now they're pulling me down / But I am clinging to you, never letting go / 'Cause I know that you'll lift me out //
Have your way here / Keep me afloat / 'Cause I know I'll sink without you / Take this ocean of pain that is mine / Throw me a lifeline " - Lifeline, Brooke Fraser
It can happen with 2 people at the same time.like now.one is my teacher and the other is a woman at a store.i wanted to see her and i went there but she hadnt come and i was upset.it happens when they care about me,i mean if they hug me or sit with me it trigers me to be obsessed with them.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
I had this kind of thing with one of my teachers - i dont quite know why though!
Maybe its because when people have been mistreated and havnt had any mother/father figures, or somehow they feel alone, they feel the need to attach themselves to someone they feel are reliable.
Haha i dont even know what im talking about but i do know how you feel! You should go to your doctor and talk about this. :)
Hope you feel alot better very soon!
xxx
thanks. i will see my doctor on monday and explain everything.thanks.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
omg, I just saw this thread, and I always thought I was alone and just crazy or something, but I feel exactly the same way sometimes. I've thought about why it is quite a bit. It's not sexual really, so I don't think it has anything to do with your sexual orientation - I think it's kind of analogous to having a crush on someone except for a parent figure instead of a sexual partner if that makes sense. At least for me, it's always people a lot older than me, like teachers or whatever, who I think I can see as taking care of me. I remember it even from when I was like 13 or so. And I think it's cause like, I'm not sure if I can explain it, but even though my mom was there for me as a kid, I always kind of distance myself from her, and like refused to be touched or stuff, so I never let her hug me or anything, so then I think it's kind of that I still want the stuff I missed out on from that, with being cared for, and, well, hugged and stuff.
But then at least for me, I never talk to people, so there's never been any chance that I'd ever actually get any of the stuff I was hoping for. And whenever I have the opportunity to get even a little bit close to someone, I kind of avoid it and just run away, so I guess I'm kind of dooming myself to the same cycle forever.
But yeah, the point was meant to be that I can totally related to what you're saying...
Emily
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it happens with people that are older than me too. Maybe you are right. I never let my mom hug me, but i don't care about other people doing so.
have you told anyone about this?
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
I haven't told anyone about it. I can't imagine ever telling anyone.
I'm okay with people besides my mom hugging me too... I find this is really interesting, cause I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the DSM that even comes close (dependent pd maybe a little in the etiology, and borderline has the attachment thing, but it's more about emotional regulation really) - I think we're coming up with a new disorder here
idk, it seems like some aspects of psychoanalysis could really fit here though...
Emily
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(O.o )
(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin