Yesterday (21st Feb) marked me being
6 years free of self harm.
And isn't that just something marvellous?
I'm sorry I only ever come back to say I'm another year free, but I feel like it's always important to share that. In the weeks running up to the date I felt triggered as hell and I was worried that when the day arrived I would be like this:
But I was a mix of this:
And this:
Celebrating, having fun and feeling good.
If you asked "how did she do it?", I'd find it hard to answer. I just decided: "I can't do this anymore". And it was because of the look I saw on my mother's face when I got back from the hospital (My last cut was my worst cut, resulting in my friend having to take me to hospital) and had to tell her what I'd done. I realised that I wasn't just hurting myself, I was hurting everyone who loved me. So I vowed to stop.
And I did it.
6 years is a long-assed time. I was 18 when I stopped, and it feels like worlds away from where I am now. I still have my dark days, but I also have my great days. I've been in that mind frame - the "I hate myself"/"things will never get better" mentality. But I proved myself wrong. I like myself now - things did get better.
And if I can do it, so can you. You can be a success story too.
To everyone out there I'd just like to say:
Good luck.
You can do it.
I believe in you.
-Robyn
