In your opinion, how healed do SH scars have to become to be able to (social acceptably) show them in public?
I really don't want to accidentally trigger anyone when I walk outside, and while I know it's OK for people to show healed scars, would it be OK for me to show scars that are healing (ie. scabs)? Since (where I live at least) it's summer, and it's too hot to wear long sleeves/pants.
I understand everyone will have a different opinion, but I just want other people's point of view
In my opinion, as long as there's no medical reason to keep them covered, it's fine to show. I don't mean that in a shove them in everyone's face, just, if they don't need to be covered they don't need to be covered.
I wouldn't necessarily show them if I were going to therapy or someplace I specifically expected other self harmers to be. I'd also cover up around family. But just general walking about in public I would not and do not care. The main thing is I would keep them covered in a job or someplace like at a gym, basically if I was getting dirty or sweaty or had a level of professionalism where appearance supposedly mattered.
Everyone's going to have their own comfort level, so this isn't me advocating that everyone should be open about it. I know when I was much younger I would cover up year round. But as the years have gone on, I've gotten much less worried about what people think, would much rather be comfortable in hot weather, and am much safer in my own circumstances. I'm not a minor where showing scars could get me in trouble or put me in situations beyond my control.
Basically if there's any situation where safety or livelihood could be compromised (like at a job or with family or something), cover up if you need to.
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You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Camden in their introduction it says the OP is an minor.
I have gone swimming with healed cuts and nobody bothers. There will occasionally be people who ask about your scars so if you don't feel comfortable with telling the truth I would have an excuse ready. Thankfully they are rare. Most people are too busy with their own lives to care about scars.
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Tbh you're really unlikely to be triggering other people by having scars on show, if anything people might just be a bit wtf about it. As for scabs, I guess that would be ok. It all depends on what they look like and how noticeable they are, I suppose, and how comfortable you are about showing them.
In terms of sun safety it's probably not too wise to be exposing new scars to the sun, although I have heard people say that some sun can help things heal/fade quicker or something. I don't know if there's any scientific basis to that though.
It's maybe a bit unusual to be more concerned with triggering others than being self conscious about showing your semi-healed self inflicted wounds around people. Do your family and friends know you self harm?
Camden in their introduction it says the OP is an minor.
Ah, yea, imo that would change things. Lots of adults you run into (at least in the US) are going to be mandatory reporters, and if they see obvious recent harm may be required to address it. This isn't me saying you can't be open about it if you don't want to, but also just be careful and take your own specific situation into question.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Tbh you're really unlikely to be triggering other people by having scars on show, if anything people might just be a bit wtf about it. As for scabs, I guess that would be ok. It all depends on what they look like and how noticeable they are, I suppose, and how comfortable you are about showing them.
In terms of sun safety it's probably not too wise to be exposing new scars to the sun, although I have heard people say that some sun can help things heal/fade quicker or something. I don't know if there's any scientific basis to that though.
It's maybe a bit unusual to be more concerned with triggering others than being self conscious about showing your semi-healed self inflicted wounds around people. Do your family and friends know you self harm?
I know some of my friends self harm, and I would never want to accidentally trigger them with semi-healed scars. I'm thinking that if I have scabs, I can just cover them with bandaids and leave the healed ones alone? I'm thinking that this is probably the best option, especially if it's too hot to wear long sleeves/pants. (I have stopped harming myself though, so hopefully I won't have to worry about covering them in the future)
Although I am also self conscious about showing my scars. This is mainly because I don't want my friends treating me differently. None of my friends know, and while I know they won't judge, I really don't want them to pity me.
(Also thank you (and everyone else) for the helpful answers)
Last edited by sidian36 : 29-06-2022 at 03:51 AM.
Reason: fixed spelling errors
I'm sorry if my message came across a little harsh there, I thought you were worried about triggering random people. A bandaid for the scabby ones sounds like a good plan. Maybe it's something you could talk to your friends about? I don't think they'd pity you if they were decent friends, they'd just want to help. Very well done on stopping though. =)
I agree that it might be worth a chat to your friends. Maybe even just to ask them if it would trigger them (to alleviate your worries about it). Then it means they will also know so that they can support you if you do struggle later on. Especially if some of them have struggled with self harm too, I can't imagine them pitying you. Just caring and wanting to be good friends.
Also just to add well done on wanting to stop/ stopping, and like np said in an earlier post, don't forget sun cream if you're going to be outside a lot!
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
i will say that i honestly think as long as you won't get in trouble, if they are past scabs, no one really cares. honestly its fully dependant on your comfort level, but i wouldn't be too worried about it.
" I am lost without you here and outside it looks like rain."
