I'm 35 and still have old scars. It's been 4 years since I've harmed myself. I have most of my scars tattooed over, hoping to have all tattooed over. That is my personal choice though, I already had tattoos before that. They don't make the scars disappear but take the attention away from them a little.
I still want to hurt myself and worse sometimes, often a lot of the time, depending on what is going on both externally and internally for me. I'm honestly still surprised a lot that I haven't. I guess maybe I eventually became stronger and able to cope without it? Bad things don't stop happening when you get older, you just learn to cope with it better I think, I hope. I guess I eventually realised that self harm doesn't actually help, not in the long run. Whatever problem you have, it will still be there. And we deserve to cope in healthier ways, for our own sake.,
I have no doubt there are people my age and older who still self harm. I hope they will also come to a place one day when they will be ready to stop. I know it took me a long time to get to that place, and everyone will at a different age. I just hope they will.
I regret ever doing it, I hate my scars, but I can't change the past now. I guess I did what needed to at the same, if I hadn't then maybe I wouldn't even be here. I still often wish I wasn't, but I am and I have to make sure the good times outweigh the bad. No, it's not easy, but things do get better, they may get worse again but we have to hold onto the hope that it will then get better again.
What I'm trying to say is, this doesn't need to be your life forever. You deserve so much more than self harm and eating disorders, it's such a shame that so many people can't see that for themselves. But I hope one day you will. Ryl is always here for you, and I hope you can get more help too. Just don't give up, it may seem like a long and difficult road, but you can make it. I hope this helps in some way. I've used the word hope a lot here, well sometimes that's all we have but at least we have that.
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