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Old 16-03-2021, 10:04 AM   #2761
christinarobert
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I am really sorry to hear about your situation but dont loose faith or hope since everything will be fine. When I usually feel depressed, stressed or anxious then I like to meditate which helps at times but mainly I have my friends to keep me busy or my family. Social communication is the best healing method mentally. Other than that keep yourself busy at work or hobbies. I hope this was helpful

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Old 17-03-2021, 12:40 PM   #2762
one_step_closer
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Thank you for your reply. Some of those things would be useful, I have a to do list but I don't have any friends or family around me I just have my brother and we text sometimes. Meditation makes me feel more anxious. It helps to talk to a professional but I'm rubbish at making a phone call and not hanging up.

I need someone. I'm low. I need to get to the other world. The followers are so distressed.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 18-03-2021, 03:23 PM   #2763
one_step_closer
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I'm feeling like there is nothing to hold on to, no hope. I could hold on between appointments with my CPN but I don't have that any more. There are no miracle meds. There are no people who will phone me regularly to see if I'm ok and catch up with what has been happening. I don't know what I need anyway, other than to have support from my CPN again which is not going to happen. I am a person filled with heavy negative boulders that I can't break down and get rid of on my own. I need to get to the other world.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 22-03-2021, 06:34 PM   #2764
one_step_closer
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I'm starting on increased Trazodone from tomorrow night (to hopefully stop the men telling me to go out in the early hours of the morning). I hope it doesn't make it harder for me to get up in the morning. I don't need med changes right now I need support from people. I said to my support worker that I would have rather had my Risperidone increased instead of my Trazodone and my support worker said I know my body best. Then I said well I obviously don't know my mind the best because I know I need emotional support which I have asked for and apparently the professionals know best. She had no reply to that! I tried to phone Duty today but it was the CPN who covered for my CPN who answered and I can't talk to her. There's only two people I can talk to on Duty and that's not good. I need my regular support back. I'm willing to try with the increased Trazodone of course but I don't think it's going to be much help.

P.S Sorry I'm quiet and not supporting people.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 22-03-2021, 06:54 PM   #2765
Cacoethes
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You don't need to apologise lindsay

I hope the increased medication gives you some relief
I know what you mean about needing the support too though
I wish I could help



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 24-03-2021, 06:16 PM   #2766
one_step_closer
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Thank you. It helps to get replies.

My Trazodone hasn't been increased yet, the chemist haven't sorted it out. I'm fine with that anyway.

I saw a woman in front of me disappear. Like she wasn't moving she just disappeared. I don't know if she was from the other world, this world and the other world keep getting mixed up with each other. I wish I had my previous CPN to turn to.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 25-03-2021, 12:38 PM   #2767
one_step_closer
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I'm struggling to cross roads or just start crossing but if I see traffic coming I don't walk any faster, there is a pressure in my head and dizziness and disconnection. This is one of my signs of unwellness but I can't get any help for it. Duty can't do anything and only my previous CPN knows that this means I'm unwell, I can see how to other people it doesn't seem like an unwell thing. Things have been building up for a while now but anyone I've talked to has just pushed distractions. I need a kind and understanding professional to talk to.

My Trazodone has been increased today, I'm worried that it might make it difficult to get out of bed. Will give it a try anyway.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 27-03-2021, 12:49 PM   #2768
one_step_closer
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I nearly lay down on the road when I was crossing. It's hard to explain the brain feelings that make me feel like I am being pushed. I'm not really aware of anything other than the feeling that I need to lie down in that moment. Things are getting dangerous.

Also, think my advance statement needs updated but I don't know who would help me with this since my previous CPN has the paperwork and we usually work on it together.

Sorry I'm posting so much.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 27-03-2021, 04:53 PM   #2769
Cacoethes
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No need to apologise lindsay. Post all you want.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply recently.

It does sound like things are getting dangerous.
Do you think you could try to call duty about it?
And I'm sure they'd be able to point you in the right direction as to who can help with your advance statement. Is it something your gp could help with?



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 27-03-2021, 06:36 PM   #2770
one_step_closer
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I've been trying to call duty for a while. There don't seem to be many people I know so I'm just going to have to try and explain my background if it's someone new. I'd rather speak to someone who knows me. There's nothing Duty can do anyway. I will try again to phone them tomorrow. I don't know what to do get through tonight, I just feel really awful. I'm not in any danger tonight though as far as I'm aware. I'm maybe going to have to stop going out because crossing the road is a big thing. I can wait a while about the advance statement, it's not that important right now.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 28-03-2021, 10:38 AM   #2771
one_step_closer
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I phoned Duty but hung up when the same person as yesterday answered. I really don't want to have to explain everything from scratch to her. But I need someone, I am hurting so much. It would be ok if I still had my CPN then I could just leave a message for her and she'd get back to me. A part of me thinks it's not important enough that I tell someone what's going on. I tried to go to Tesco this morning but only got to the local shops, it's so hard to cross the road. I don't know what I'm going to do about the walk I go on on Tuesdays with my support worker and another service user.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 28-03-2021, 01:40 PM   #2772
one_step_closer
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I spoke to the person on Duty. She wasn't concerned and told me to try again later to go for my shopping. She pushed the usual distractions. She asked how I usually get through this and I said I usually end up in hospital as a planned admission but I don't know if my current psych follows that plan. At the end of the conversation she said she'd pass things on to the psych and she can talk to me about things when we next have an appointment, which will be months away. I need help now. I think I do need a planned admission to hospital but I will never say I think this is what I need. I'll cut down my time outside. I have to pick up my prescription every day except a Sunday so I need to be out most days. But I usually go out twice a day to keep up my steps for the walking challenge thing with my support worker. I'm going to have to give things up.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 30-03-2021, 02:12 PM   #2773
one_step_closer
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I made the short walk to get my prescription ok today. I mentioned my road crossing issues to my support worker when she phoned to do COVID questions so we could go for a walk. She said she knows I've been struggling for a while now but I'm coping better with it. She said to see when my next psychiatry appointment is. I thought I could do the walk and got on the bus but when I arrived the pressure/disconnected mind thing started and I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it. My support worker let me off with it this week and I came home. I feel awful. Everything is becoming a struggle. It's at this point that I would usually end up in hospital but there is no one around to tell the full story to who could decide if I need an admission or not. I don't know if I'd be allowed to talk to my psych over the phone if I don't have an appointment.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 30-03-2021, 02:34 PM   #2774
tamobhuuta
 
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Hi osc. It would be ok to ask to speak to the psych, someone who can listen and do something to help. Because of lockdown lots of people are having telephone appointments.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 30-03-2021, 05:37 PM   #2775
one_step_closer
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I just don't know if I'm allowed to call in between appointments or if Duty is there to stop people from phoning to speak to the psychs.

I'm having to get my groceries delivered now because I can't get down to Tesco. I make it to get my prescription and I might manage a short afternoon walk but not like I was before. I am restricted.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 31-03-2021, 12:21 PM   #2776
Cacoethes
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It’s worth asking. The worst they can say is no.

That sounds really frustrating.
Could you talk to someone else on duty who might take you a bit more seriously?



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 31-03-2021, 02:45 PM   #2777
one_step_closer
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That would make me think that they think I'm asking for more than I deserve. My support worker (who was doing the walk yesterday) said she would phone me today but she hasn't yet. Her organisation only provide practical support so she'll be pushing me to get back into the walk. I never know who's on Duty and can't ask to speak to someone else if the person who answers doesn't suit me. Basically all the CPNs just say distract myself with anything that is happening, except my two previous CPNs. My support worker says the CMHT has a new set of distractions so maybe they will be better for me. A distraction is a distraction, and I can't be distracted from this. Maybe I should ask to speak to my psych or have a closer appointment but the Duty CPNs might be annoyed that I went direct to her rather than talking to them and they deciding what is important to pass on.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 31-03-2021, 03:08 PM   #2778
Cacoethes
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I doubt they'll be annoyed.
And it doesn't matter what they think anyway. You're struggling and have every right to ask to speak to your psych



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 31-03-2021, 03:44 PM   #2779
tamobhuuta
 
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I agree with Cacoethes.



Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 31-03-2021, 05:32 PM   #2780
one_step_closer
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Maybe I could talk to someone from Duty and ask them to pass things on to my psych, if I can actually make the phone call. But I'd rather talk to my psych directly because who knows what Duty will deem important or not to pass on to her. I just don't want to do anything wrong and I think the rules are Duty are there to talk to and I can only talk to my psych if I have an appointment. I don't know. My support worker didn't phone today. I wish I had one point of contact, that would mean having a CPN but that's not happening. Probably no one can help me anyway.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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