trigger warning - potential rape.

[MunchBox]

No inspiring words, but I know how you're feeling.
And I'm sorry you feel that way too.

[Ahimsa]

I deleted his number, blocked him, and deleted the messages from him.

I've been avoiding yoga, (I work in a yoga studio), I tried going back and anxiety said no. I walked out of 2 classes.

Today I managed to stay - he had no interest in yoga until he hurt me and his GP suggested it. I've been telling him for years. Now he's going (in his hometown) and I'm feeling like he's taken it from me. I don't know what postures I can trust my body and mind with anymore.

[one_step_closer]

I'm so sorry he has taken so many of the good things out of your life. Well done for managing to stay at yoga though, little steps. I hope you can separate some things from the connection they have to him with time and get back to seeing things about how they relate to you. How are you getting on now?

[Ahimsa]

Can I pass on that question?

[Ahimsa]

My last session is tomorrow.

[Ahimsa]

It's coming up to the anniversary (5th April) and I'm still coming to terms with this. I'm working on that day too;

[one_step_closer]

Do you think working on that day will be helpful or not? How might you be able to look after yourself and get some support if you need it? Anniversaries are hard, I know, especially when things are still raw for you.

[Ahimsa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by one_step_closer

Do you think working on that day will be helpful or not? - pass?
How might you be able to look after yourself and get some support if you need it? - pass?

Anniversaries are hard, I know, especially when things are still raw for you. - thank you x

[Ahimsa]

I''m struggling

[one_step_closer]

Sorry to hear that. Is there anything safe that might help right now?

[Ahimsa]

The anniversary is on Friday

[one_step_closer]

*hugs if ok* Are you still working on Friday? What do you need right now?

[Ahimsa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by one_step_closer

*hugs if ok* Are you still working on Friday? What do you need right now?

I'm not working tomorrow now, no.

I could do with not existing but that's not a realistic option

[one_step_closer]

Leaving some supportive thoughts. If it would help to post here today then please do.

[Ahimsa]

Lots of things are going on and I hurt myself tonight.

[one_step_closer]

Do you want to post here about anything that is going on? Do you need some help after hurting yourself?

[Ahimsa]

I go back to therapy tomorrow.

[one_step_closer]

Is this with the same therapist? I hope everything goes as well as possible.

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

Sending love, sweetie. You know where I am.

[Ahimsa]

I wrote down the words, I'm trying to stop calling it "the thing" and say the words. I wrote them down and had a panic attack and scratched my skin to get the feelings away and she made me do breathing exercises. I work in a yoga studio, I know breathing exercises. She didn't understand when I told her about not being real last Saturday, and I didn't know how to explain it.

I wrote down the words and I could barely write I was so fucking shaky and nothing is right and she put them in confidential waste and I wrote some thoughts and threw them in the solstice fire on Friday.