Just wondering how people feel when they do eat. I know for me I become very anxious when I first feel hunger and that becomes more intense as eating is anticipated and peaks when I do eat, then I have to find something to do. Even drinking water can do it- I just hate feeling full. How do others feel?
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
I feel this too- I find I often check areas of my body after eating and find that my hands go through a bit of air because the size I predict they will be does not match where they actually are
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
I still get incredibly anxious when I eat and still have to eat on my own. I try my best to handle the anxiety, and remember my coping mechanisms (deep breathing, distraction etc) but sometimes it just gets too much and I cry and get in a bit if a state.
I understand how crippling the anxiety can be surrounding meals/post meals but hopefully, this will become less intense in the long run.
I used to feel not so bad when I was eating sometimes, it was deciding what to allow myself that was the worst. What I had calculated was 'allowed' was a big problem, preparing the food was very very stressful. I know I would when the food was served up, get 'distracted' by washing up before I had eaten, letting food get cold.
So starting to eat was hard, but once I had weighed what I could have, I would generally eat it all because it was an accuracy thing and if I had eaten only some, I wouldn't be able to cope with the not knowing how many calories I had eaten.
Because I had problems with binging too, eating could be distracting. I would munch blindly and feel terrible when there was no food left.
Then again eating could be so hard, I would feel like I couldnt swallow, my mouth was dry, and its like my swallowing mechanism had jarred. I think that must have been anxiety, it was like I found opening my mouth impossible. I know its stupid but I would have thing thing were opening my mouth was not allowed. I wouldn't speak, drink, eat. Anything.
Fighting through it the only way,, I'm not saying it gets easy immediately, but over weeks and months you can make a huge dent in the anxiety it causes.
Never give up, the sad fact is you can take months to move forwards, but only days to go back [in my experiance].
I am okay with eating if I have prepared the food and calculated the calories. Eating food where I don't know the calorie content is a problem for me and I really struggle with eating out as a result. My main issue is the guilt and anxiety afterwards which makes me want to restrict and/or over-exercise to compensate.
I am really struggling after eating tonight. My body feels enormous, but when I go to brush my hands over my face, my stomach, my thighs my hands brush through air before they reach my body. The lies in my mind drive me crazy, but the anxiety from eating is worse
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
i feel the same way....i get scared before every meal because i am worried that i will have to eat or i will be confronted with something that i dont know the calories of. Maybe you can try eating something you know is hardly any calories and plan how much you are going to eat? like grapes or celery or something maybe? i dunno
I love grapes. It just feels so wrong when my stomach feels food in there
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Have you tried to distract yourself after a meal instead of focusing on how it makes you feel? from what you post on a number of your threads it sounds like you are obsessing over it and focusing on it instead of trying to distance yourself.
I do jigsaws on my computer, go for walks, watch TV, pat my animals- nothing seems to help. I'm sorry, just been really struggling as I have a lot on at the moment
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
sometimes I do well and am able to eat a meal out without too much anxiety, but when it kicks in, i have to weigh everything and it has to be the portion recommendation on the pack, and calculated.
When I'm not doing well I also have to plan and calculate all my meals - it is better that though because otherwise I fall back into just not eating because it's the anxiety. If I didn't have the anxiety I would be fine, but then I wouldn't have an ED so there we go.