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Triggering (SI/Abuse) - How you remind me (poem)
Flickering distractions, time warped memories, dust covered photographs and hand scrawled memoirs. Msn history and the bus route home. These are things that wander my mind when I’m alone.
I have the book to tell me what happened each day, I had your words to take me away.
Wet grass and long over due hugs, how stupid was I to think I was in love.
A polished perfection that was only in my head, every time I see you how you remind me how I wish I were dead.
I’ve tried to drown my sorrows, to let the blood run, but nothing compares to these false memories of fake fun. I couldn’t live without you and I guess I still can’t. I’m reminded each day of my mistakes, wounded by a changing fate.
I can still see your name carved in the palm of my hand, these shadows of imperfection where not what I had planned.
To see a polished perfection that you found in her eyes. To know I was nothing more than someone to pass the time. I think I can forgive but never forget, how you words left me drowning in a pain that I’ll never forget.
(its stupid but I cant forget, it was a year ago now and still seems like only yesterday, I still cry when I read the notes he wrote and I still can shake the feeling that his name in my hand is still bleeding )
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