I know hunni, but what has your sister said? Why is she going back to him, has she explained her reasons, and is she actually going bac to him or did she just see him.
I know its hard hunni and its not much but we are here for you xxxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
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Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
cheryl - its ok to phone your ot . do you have any emegency numbers to call as well ? were all here for you . stay safe.
no reason - hun you know that your sister isnt doing this to hurt you. she doenst want to hurt you but it seems impossible for us to understand but its hard to let go of some people... have you spoken to your sister ?~
and suicide... its always going to be messy. its always going to hurt people. your not selfish your just in pain. is there anyone you can call ?
hollz - hope your feeling ok hun. your right there isnt a lot you can do about getting work to calm down about it now the damage is done but make sure you do damage control afterwards if you can. or soemthing like that.
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well guys ive been doing a memory experiment to figure out which of my memories are true or false. and its totally ****ed me up.
although i am going to start taking my medication again today.
(just to ley you all know im not around over the weekend going away with the youth service)
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
don't be ashamed about asking for help cheryl, it is better to ask for help sooner rather than later once something dangerous has been done *hugs*
Hope you're ok Hollz, we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe have a think about what caused you to do those things, see if you can work through it a bit in a more healthy way?
No reason - I'm so sorry about your sister...as said above, do you know if they are getting back together? Have you spoken to your sister about your concerns and to hear what she has to say about it all?
Sarah, I'm sorry the memory test is proving difficult for you - are you sure you can rely on its results? Also, it's not your fault if you have poor memory, I do too and things can get all mixed up, but it can't be helped. I hope you have a good time with the youth service.
She has told me in texts that she doesn't think anyone will take her and her 4 kids on and that he is the dad of her youngest 2 etc. I really don't understand.
Have a couple of bottles of wine in now which I can drink sensibly over a couple of nights or just to block it all out tonight.
I also now have a quantity of OTC painkillers.
I don't know how to get through this.
Has anyone any unusual ways of coping with voices? I try all the standard ones but they are scary and loud right now.
EDIT - Left in the Centre, just noticed you are going away this weekend. I hope it is enjoyable for you.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Carrie, I'm really sorry to hear all that :( I guess loneliness makes us do weird things, even take back partners that have been so very violent in the past. It's obviously not a good idea for her to go back to him at all, especially with her children in mind, but it's really hard to get another person to see that and can leave you feeling so helpless. But your sister needs you around, hun. If you aren't here she'll definitely think she's got nobody else. I hope that doesn't sound blackmail-y.
I don't know of any unusual coping techniques for voices, but if they are scary and frequent I would recommend seeing your doctor if possible.
I'm struggling a little at the moment. Saw the HTT psychiatrist this morning and cried a lot, handed over a craft knife to her. She increased my antipsychotic which makes me miserable because it constipates me, and I'll be seeing the HTT twice a day so I'll basically have to take it each time I'm supposed to. Everyone was really nice to me though, feel undeserving.
Thanks Laura. I can't bring myself to talk to her right now. I have been in contact over text so that she knows I am still there for her but argh.
There is nothing they can do directly re the voices. They are called "pseudo-hallucinations" and are worse when I am particularly stressed so although my prn of my AP can help in that it can lessen the anxiety, I just have to ride them out til they decide to go back to their usual level, which I can deal with.
I'm glad you handed over the knife. Do you find it helps seeing the HTT?
I left a message for my SW before and she returned my call but I sent it to voicemail. It's not as if she can do anything to make me any safer, it's up to me. I just feel so alone and everything is overwhelming and telling me to od, drink, cut, just anything to self-destruct.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I hope you enjoy your time away Sarah :) I'm sorry the memory test is stressful *hugs*
Well done on handing over the knife whirlpools, that was a really brave thing to do. I know it must have been really hard *hugs* Is there anything your doctor or anyone could do to deal with the constipation you get from the meds? That must be a really rotten side effect :(
I'm sorry I don't have any good advice, no reason. I would recommend just being there for your sister, let her see she isn't alone, keep her confidence and self-esteem up where you can. Take care of yourself honey *hugs*
laura - im so proud of you for handing over the knife thats a really good choice you bad there. and your not undeserving. just keep going with it.
and sorry to here they upped your meds.. try them and if they done change anything maybe they will decrease them.
well im all packed. dont go untill tomorrow morning though.. now what to do for the next .. 7 hours lol.
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
waiting to leave for somewhere once you're all ready is always the worst!! It takes ages but you can't really do anything otherwise you will end up late! :O
my best friend's ignoring me.
do you think she realised what i am ?
how bad i am ?
she wont take my calls answer my txts and she isnt online. she normally does all 3.
she hates me now doesnt she ? .
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
Im sorry, I dont know all your names but just wanted to offer hugs for those that would like them xx
Im really struggling right now with lack of motivation. I just dont care about anything anymore, myself, life and living. Im now feeling the lowest of lows and just cant snap out of it.
I feel I need a change of meds but my Dr wont yet due to underlying health reasons. So I feel im stuck in this place and yet part of me doesnt care. Maybe drink will help
it is a depressent its the absolute worst thing to do when already feeling down.
please be careful.
you have to pull yourself out of it by saying ok i dont want to do all of this but i dont have a choice.
do something physical, inteligent, pleasureable, relaxing and social every day.. by doing this you before functioning in your low mood. this then counteracts the negativity and lack of motivation in turn destroying the mood without destroying you.
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because she knows that i was bad....because thats why they did it.
to make me good. and now she knows. i dont know how but she does.
i feel so alone.
ive already cut 4 times today.. still feel like doing it again
Last edited by Left in the centre : 14-08-2009 at 08:17 PM.
Reason: didnt see the previous post
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
Thank you, youre right.
Ive only had one drink and have put the bottle away
Im about to sit and watch a dvd with my daughters to try to keep my mind away from other things xx
thats good news :) . proud of you for putting it away
keep going. i know ts difficult but i dragged myself kicking and screaming out of my last depressive spell so i know doing this kinda stuff does work.
x
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
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Emily Bronte
