Please help - I feel like I'm losing everything.

xxtamsynxx · 25-10-2010, 10:06 PM

EVERYTHING,absolutely EVERTHING is falling apart.In fact, I feel like I've already lost it. It's all out of control. Everything. Never ever before has it been like this.

Eating - The last few days I have literally eaten well over the RDA of calories, it's out of control
Spending - I have been spending money that I really can't afford to spend - it's out of control
Uni work - I feel behind, I don't feel motivated, I feel like I'm already failing - it's out of control
Focus - I cannot focus on anything, everything is a blur, there is nothing I can concentrate on - it's out of control.
Mood - One minute I feel fine, the next minute I feel angry, or shit, or depressed - it's out of control

Literally every thought I have is one I don't want to face or don't even want to think about. I've spent the last 20 minutes sobbing. Because everything is out of control, and for once in my life I geuinely have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what to do. Not even an inkling. I feel sick. I feel out of control. I feel like I've lost everything.

I'd understand if I was focusing on one thing to the detriment of others, but that's just not the case. Or I don't think it is. Nothing in my life is my main focus at the moment. Apart from trying to get my focus back.

I genuinley feel I have nothing to focus on, nothing to hold on to.

~hunni~ · 25-10-2010, 11:15 PM

It sounds like you're trying to focus on everything all at once and that's making it hard for you to focus on anything at all. Perhaps it would help if you could write some things down, so that everything becomes a bit more organised? For instance, if you started making a food diary, it might help you to become a bit more objective about what you're eating.

If you're struggling with uni work, it's probably a good idea if you get in touch with your tutor and let them know what's going on. They will be able to give you some support and possibly extend deadlines etc if you feel that that would be helpful to you.
Take care
xxx

xxtamsynxx · 26-10-2010, 01:18 AM

I write everything down already food wise and I've tried to be as organised with it as possible. I just can't stop eating :(

In terms of uni work, I don't really want to approach my tutor as my normal one is on sabbatical and I don't know the one I have now, although it would probably be beneficial to see him.

I've emailed my counsellor, whom I am seeing a week tomorrow/today. Basically explaining my whole 'melt down' so that we can talk about it next week.

Argh I just wish I could put everything together. This anxiety is just crippling.

I'm going to call the doctors tomorrow morning. Speak to them, see whether it could be a side effect of my medication. I remember my other doctor mentioning anxiety could get worse.

Feels like such a mess!

PassedExpectations · 26-10-2010, 01:37 AM

could you have someone help you make a schedule and then check up on you to help you follow it? or plan to do something with a friend so that you have to get up and moving (your friend could help if you're feeling stuck from the anxiety).... maybe try and follow the same pattern every day so that you get a routine down, that helps with my anxiety, if i know exactly what i'll be doing when so then i can build other stuff around it

Fading-Away · 26-10-2010, 02:11 AM

I know exactly how it feels to have everything falling apart, boy do I know how that goes. But one thing that has amazed over the past couple years and especially the past couple weeks is that no matter how bad things seem life goes on and the little things don't seem to matter in the long run. Uni work is very important and obviously your moods need to get a handle. But you should be super proud that you are aware things aren't good and that you are reaching out for help and not shutting down. You should be proud and I know I don't know you very well but I'm proud of you for reaching out. And things are bound to get better eventually, at least that's what we have to keep telling ourselves.