Can somebody please talk to me?

[MangoCatfish]

Hey, I posted this in the self harm section but I think I'll probably get a better response here.
I came here because I want to talk to someone who understands what it is like to self harm and who struggles with eating like I do. And hopefully you guys can help me out :)
I eat very little because I think I'm fat, I have a normal BMI but Im still disgusted everytime I look in the mirror. I measure out all my food and record all my calories. I'm not a sporty person at all, but I exercise until I can barely breathe to make sure I'm not fat. If I don't exercise or I binge on food I feel like I've failed and I punish myself with self harm - cutting my arms. I have scars and they remind me to work harder to be skinnier.
I was just hoping to meet someone who perhaps knows what this feels like and maybe could tell me their ways of coping - for both struggling with eating and self harm. Please let me know if you can help :)

[Unbreakable.]

Hi there :)

I think you will find that a lot of people who struggle with food are in the healthy weight range. Eating patterns can affect you physically and emotionally no matter what weight you are at. I think that is important to understand, and I am glad you are reaching out and able to see that something is not quite right with how you treat yourself.

I can relate to feeling fat and wanting to change that and being unable to feel any different despite being in the healthy weight range. I am prone to erratic eating patterns and using food as a coping mechanism for how I feel about myself and how I see myself.
Do you think that how you see food and your weight is related to how you feel about yourself as a person and to your mood in general? Often the triggers for disordered eating lie outside of the weight and food issue, but are projected onto it as a means of expressing your struggle. Working on the underlying issues is just as important as working on how you eat. I think the key is to being nice to yourself when you feel like you don't deserve it. It is hard to do that, but it really can improve your overall well-being greatly.