But Beckie is needing a lot of support today and I think she deserves it a great deal. She has been fighting so hard through some unimaginable dark times and today I think we should all pull together and help out. with some kind words and encouragement.
Also Beckie has been amazingly proactive lately in reaching out for support and I just want to say I think it's super proud of her to do so. So here is hoping the team can help her out also.
Beckie - this is a safe place for you to share how you're feeling, what is going on for you and anything else you think would help. This is your place.
And thank you Beth and Dulcamara.
LLAMA FACE!
I must find that film.
today is going to be difficult, made even worse by the fact that I can't eat and I haven't slept for about 28 hours straight now, but I'm really agitated as well, so it's going to be an even more difficult day than it was originally.
I have the crisis team coming at 2
x
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Can you plan things until 2pm to keep you safe and maybe allow you to get rest of it happens to happen? Like s movie or such? I know you've said today is hard and not being able to rest ot eat eyc does make that worse, so I hope you can be very gentle on yourself today.
Would you call the crisis team before 2 if you needed?
I will have to try and find it in CEX or something! ;p
I don't know how it's going to go.
I don't think I should tell them about the self harm. It was minimal anyway.
I can't really nap during the day! Never been able to.
I'm not really functioning that well at the moment. Tried to make super noodles and nearly blew up the microwave, and accidentally burned my hand with water from the kettle.
I think it's best if I just don't move for the rest of the day.......
thank you Steph!
EDIT: ninja Aimee....! i've eaten a little bit which is good. I've been watching kids tv shows all day. Well, before 6am I was watching Murder She Wrote, because the kids channels weren't on :(
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
The crisis team got here early. They've just gone, think that was about 5 minutes they were here?
Not overly helpful. They told me I need to eat something and keep distracted.
I would love to be able to eat something right now, I am so hungry, but I really can't!
And to go out for a walk. Not a great idea either. I live rather close to a bypass which could be dangerous. Its safer if I stay in the house.
I'm a bit paranoid about it really. Since I've been seeing them, they've been really helpful and stayed longer than 5 minutes, and that's when I didn't want to talk! I did today!
So I'm worried that they know something that I don't. Or something is being planned or something bad is going to happen.
They weren't horrible to me or anything, just a bit distracted?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I hope they are helpful today Beckie. Could you ask them for some more lorazepam? Did that help you sleep at all?
Edit: cross posted! Sorry they weren't helpful :-/. Can you try soup or a smoothie if you can't eat 'proper' food? Try not to be paranoid there are loads of reasons that they might have been 'distracted', doesn't necessarily mean they are planning anything. Are you seeing your CPN tomorrow?
I had some super noodles. So at least that's something!
I'm trying to drink lots as well.
I think they've arranged a review meeting for tomorrow with my psych, cpn and the crisis team. But it clashes with my neurology appointment, which I've told them, and they're going to talk to my cpn tomorrow.
As my neurology appointment is at the same hospital that the crisis team is at, it may take place there. Which I'm nervous about because its a hospital and the mh unit is directly opposite where I had Jasmine. It was hard enough being there for the 20 minutes last night.
I think they've been busy, because its a weekend, so its most likely thats why they were kind of rushed.
But its happened so many times before when I've seen someone, then I randomly get sectioned.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Awww Beckie ,
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. Please remember that we are all here for you.
Please stay strong. Hope you can eat something soon!
If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me as I will always try to help as much as I can.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Love From Meera xx
“The only way that we can live is if we grow. The only way we can grow is if we change. The only way we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we are exposed is if we throw ourselves into the open.”
Sorry to hear they were so brief and unreceptive while you were ready to talk. Do you think you could call them today is you needed, if you felt you might act on anything unsafe?
