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Old 07-01-2014, 05:10 PM   #1
FindRecovery
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Trying to recover with struggling friends?

I have two friends, one is in recovery from her ED and the other is struggling with hers. I'm trying so hard to recover from my own, but it can be really hard when I'm trying to be there for my other friends when they struggle, and I'm sure it's hard for them to be there for me, too. I'm just wondering... should I stop talking to them about anything ED-related? Is it better to talk to 'healthy' friends about this when I need help, or turn to my friends who understand?



"We held hands when we walked down the gingerbread path into the forest, blood dripping from our fingers. We danced with witches and kissed monsters. We turned us into wintergirls, and when she tried to leave, I pulled her back into the snow because I was afraid to be alone."


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Old 07-01-2014, 05:38 PM   #2
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Hi,

It's a tricky situation. I think you need to focus on your own recovery and I'm sure your friends will understand that. I guess only you can decide what the best this to do it, but you have to consider your health. Yes, it's good to confide in friends, but try and remember that professionals know how to treat eating disorders. That's not to say you never speak with your friends (as it's always, always good to talk) but remember that your treatment team are there to help you when you're struggling.

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Old 07-01-2014, 08:58 PM   #3
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Can you try and talk about this with your friends? It's a complex situation so it might help to know how they feel about talking with you. One person might really struggle hearing about another person's ED, whereas it may help another person not feel so alone.

My best friend has an ED that they are still struggling with (though working hard to manage), and I am recovered from anorexia. Between us we have negotiated which kinds of things are triggering, and which aren't. However, we both have a significant amount of professional input so we never feel entirely responsible for helping the other. Any discussion is always geared towards actively helping by encouraging certain therapy skills, too, rather than general ranting which could bring the other person down. Those are all kind of unwritten rules but it works well for us.

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Old 21-01-2014, 12:48 PM   #4
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I think Shed has made some really great suggestions. Have you tried talking to your friend about setting those boundaries?



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Old 21-01-2014, 07:05 PM   #5
FindRecovery
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It's actually okay now, one of those friends has decided not to be mine anymore, so it's just me and another girl. We're both trying to get better now haha:)



"We held hands when we walked down the gingerbread path into the forest, blood dripping from our fingers. We danced with witches and kissed monsters. We turned us into wintergirls, and when she tried to leave, I pulled her back into the snow because I was afraid to be alone."


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Old 21-01-2014, 08:07 PM   #6
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I hope you manage to support and inspire each other. :)



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