Where are my words?

[Buttons.]

I slipped. After 4 and 1/2 months sober after being in liver failure and fighting my way out of it adapting to health shit wheelchair going places doing things being healthier Recovery. I've slipped. I knew o was in a tight rope but didn't realise the small push of someone shouting in my face (more complicated but can't cry in public) would so easily erase what I've accomplished every day so ducking hard won there said it it's been brill but so FUCKng hard I should have seen the signs little self harms (just little x no mess no problem so long as no one sees right???? So long as I'm not drinking right???self hate. World hate. Voices.probablytrue

[Wonderland.]

You have erased none of your accomplishments lovely.
No one can ever take them 4 and a half months sober away from you.

When we spoke last night you said going out to stay away from the pub was helping. Is there anything you could do right now (it doesn't have to be going out as I don't know what state you are in) but to put down the drink and try refocus your thoughts on something else?

Are any useful support workers on tonight for you if you need?

Keep talking we are here for you <3
xxxxxxxxx

[tiptoes]

I am sorry that you have slipped up lovely.
It does not detract in the slightest what a fantastic achievement 4 1/2 months sober is.

Slipping up has happened now, you can't change it. You can influence what you do now. Tomorrow you can say I have only drunk once in 4 1/2 months and I am going to continue staying sober. I will get back to 4 1/2 months sober again because I am strong and I can do this and maybe this time I will get to 4 1/2 months and 1 days.

[Buttons.]

Thing is I'm already at pub had a few. Going somewhere else not drinking for first time in so long didn't even figure I just upped and went I felt so hurt and upset and such self hate after argument It feels destined maybe especially as due to discrimination (blatant) been given free bottle of wine. Maybe this is the night...gah my head is stupid

No support worked still tomorrow

[Buttons.]

Ninja posted thanks tiptoes that does make sense

[Wonderland.]

A few drinks doesn't have to lead to anymore.
I know it can be incredibly difficult to stop once you have started but it is possible.
What would be the downsides to putting the drink down and heading home?

[tiptoes]

Do you have someone to call that you could talk to if you were put your drink down and leave and head home?

Is there some thing you could do to treat yourself for leaving?

[Buttons.]

I've booked into next door b&b my place is tainted can't stop drinking argh. Having voice issues of major burn dunno ugh

[Sketchy]

Katy lovely, I hope you are ok.

[tiptoes]

If being the the bnb is safer than home I am glad that you have booked in.

Things sound so distressing for you lovely, be gentle with yourself. Do you still have alcohol on you, if so do you think you could pour it away?

We are here for you

[Buttons.]

I've offered other people rest of wine bottle but I'm sonootnokay my parents have found out so are coking get me hutnjeed to self harm so so so so bad

[Buttons.]

I need to burn

[Buttons.]

Too I need to be in patient parents think maybe I dkntnnnoe everyone else arg

[tiptoes]

Do you think you could go to A&E?
It sounds like you are in a scary place right now and maybe some help staying safe would be good.

I'm sorry I don't quite follow some of your post, are your parents coming to you?

[Buttons.]

Just update am at parents they did pick me up. Sorry for emp drunkenness.

[Wonderland.]

How are you now lovely?
I hope your parents were able to take care of you.

I know you are probably really disappointed you got into that state last night but I think a positive to come out of it is you were able to give people the rest of the alcohol which takes great strength.