*Probably triggering - I don't know* Confused about whether it's real or not...
Beth (one of the evil spirits who talks to me) has been interupting my dreams by showing me what she looks like. Her corpse follows me around and breathes on me, making me feel cold.
I've been seeing The Statue again whenever I feel stressed or anxious, it just...watches me. It was the first sign of my 'psychosis' and went away when I was put on meds. Why am I seeing it again?
A big part of me wants to tell me that it's all because I haven't been taking my medication regularly enough, but the rest of me knows that it's all real.
But if it's not real, what am I going to do when they take me off the meds permanantly in a couple of weeks?
I'm so ****ing confused.
Hunni, I aint in a good place atm but jst want you to know I care about you and really hope your okay xxxxxxxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
I think youi need to be honest with your care team about what you have been seeing. Do you know why they are taking you off meds permanently? It may be that they have to review their decision based on what you are seeing.
I think it's really good that you are challenging wether things are real or not. That seems like your strongest tool in dealing with these odd experiences. Have you heard of Rufus May by any chance? He is a psychologist who specialises in helping people with psychosis without using meds. If you have a google he has some really useful thoughts about how to deal with psychotic experiences and even suggests that sometimes trying to live alongside the delusions and making sense of them within your environment as opposed to trying to get rid of them is sometimes a good strategy.
There's really no point talking to the CMHT about this. They never help, and I'm pretty sure they don't believe me.
I want to come off the medication, I'm absolutely sick of it. And I've been feeling so much better for ages. I'm eight months free of self harm. The voices haven't been a problem, whenever they do crop up (which is very rare these days) I find it very easy to combat them.
I dunno, I'm just making a big deal over nothing. I'm sure I'll be fine in a couple of days.
Thanks for replying.
*hugs* be honest with your care team, even if you are still wanting to come off meds. like said above, they may be able to help you fight the psychosis other ways. and if coming off meds doesn't work, keep an open mind to going back on them. you gotta do what's best for YOU. hope you're ok. keep fighting, you're strong and you can beat this.
I'm being weened off the meds, they'll be gone by the end of this week.
They said that as soon as I left the psychs office they would discharge me. I said 'what if I don't respond well to being off meds?' and they just said I'd be fine. They also said if I do become unwell again, I'd have to go to my GP and get a refferal to the CMHT again (which could take ages). So, yeah, I feel like I've just been left with nothing.
I mean, I do want to be discharged and I do want to be off the meds, but this is yet another example of how they don't take me seriously.
i'm sorry *hugs* can you view it differently, as how confident they are that you'll do well rather than them leaving you. do you feel as if you've learned anything that will help you cope? i'd say though, if after a while things get bad again, go to your GP sooner rather than later so things don't get too bad.
Whut?! That's stupid. As shadowed said, maybe you could put in a complaint? PALS are usually pretty good, or you could find your local Independent Mental Health Advocacy for some support (your local MIND should know more about this).
It's silly just to assume that someone will be fine coming off medication. Well, you might be, but that's just it - who knows. And to be honest, the stress of not having the support around might just make things worse than the whole medication business. It's better to have support in place than not, even if you don't need it.
Mim makes the other point that I was going to make, I think it's a good way to look at things.
I'm trying to look at it positively, but it's like the final snub. They kept doing things that just made me think they really don't give a damn, and that they don't believe me.
I actually think I'm going to be alright without the meds and the service. The CMHT didn't help me much at all anyway, they were pretty useless. Anything I've learned about coping came from me, certainly not them.
