Triggering (SI/ED) - *suicide*Giving up time, yeah?

[GlitterandSparkles.]

I don't know what to do with myself currently.

I can feel myself slipping. My eating has gone down hill, the urges to cut are getting horrible again. I have bruises all over my legs from punching myself.

I'm having terrible mood swings & I feel like I'm pushing everybody away.

The full depression hasn't even set in yet, but I know it's coming.

I can feel it slowly seeping in, and hurting me.

I've been fasting and I feel like shit all the time; I'm dizzy and weak and lightheaded. I ate today and I feel horrendously guilty about it.

No matter what I do, I lose either way. I feel like shit if I don't eat, I feel like shit if I do eat.

I fought with a friend about this last night, he wants me to get help. I can't do that.

Everybody should give up on me.

I am.

[Megan93]

:( im really sorry that you feel this way but i understand what you mean about eating and not eating and not wanting help.
pm me if you need me.
things get better... they always do
xx

[explorerwish]

I'm sorry too. :(
I also understand what you mean. If I don't eat, I'm miserable. If I do eat, I'm miserable. And even though I hate my eating disorder and everything about it, I don't want help.

You're not alone. Please don't give up on yourself. No matter how bad things are now, you can get through it. Things will get better.

[Chloe.]

Hun, I know you're going through a hard time, but things won't be like this forever.
I wish I could help more than I have been, and I'm really sorry.
So many people care about you.
You're such a strong person, and you can get through this.
I'm always here for you.
Love you, m'dear.
*hugs*
<3

[Kame]

Nobody is going to give up on you sweetheart, people care about you and want to get better. You can fight this, please don't give up. *Gives lots of gentle cuddles and love*
xxxx

[GlitterandSparkles.]

Thank you for the support everybody.

I just feel so lost. My eating is really messing me up, I don't think I have an eating disorder though. I just..I can't stand being so fat. That's my main problem, I think. Being fat.

It depresses me, I feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever.

*sigh* My friend is really blunt in saying that I need help, part of me wants help, but I can't do it. I can't seem to realize that this is an actual, serious problem.

I'm just, I'm stuck in hell in my own mind.

I want to starve.
I don't want to starve.

I want to cut.
I don't want to cut.

I want to die.
I don't want to die.

No matter what I do, it's never the right thing and my mind is going to criticize me anyways.

I'm at a loss.